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Q & A – Rayne

September 14th, 2009

1 – Who are you and what do you identify as?

I’m Rayne and I’m a slave.

2 – Where did you get your name?

Shortly after I met Master, He decided to bring me to IRC and introduce me to all His friends and ex-girlfriends (who He was still friends with).

It didn’t go over well.  It was obvious to everyone around us from day one that this thing we had wasn’t just going to fizzle and die.  I still say my going there killed the channel.

But we were already discussing the possibility of Him owning me so I looked to Him to name me.  He wouldn’t.  He asked me what I wanted.

I chose “Rayne” because it’s a variation of my given name and I’ve wanted to use it since I was a child.  But I didn’t start using it online or anywhere else until I met Master.

3 – What drew you to M/s?

The desire to please Master led to the desire to be owned, which led to my interest in M/s.  Before Him, I was submissive in the bedroom but never dreamed I’d hand control of my life over to another.  He told me He wanted to own me completely.  His desire made my decision for me. 

4 – Do you hope to gain anything as a person from M/s? If so, what?

I don’t just hope to gain something as a person from M/s.  I already have.

I’ve learned that it’s extremely important to know yourself and be honest about who you are.  Even if there are parts of you you don’t like.  I’ve learned that taking responsibility for your own actions, rather than pushing blame onto someone else, is the only way to fix the problems in your life.  I’ve learned that I can’t change anyone else.  No matter how badly I want to.  I can only change myself.

I’ve learned that I don’t always see past the end of my nose.  And I’ve learned that I, quite often, wholeheartedly believe things because I wish they were true.  Not necessarily because they are.

I’ve always been a tolerant person.  But M/s has opened my eyes to so many things I’ve been intolerant of in the past.  It’s forced me to re-evaluate my opinions, thoughts, feelings, personality…

This is not to say I don’t think these things can be learned in a vanilla relationship.  I know they can.  But for me, it required someone I trusted and respected pointing out my faults in order for me to see them.  Before Him, I’ve known no one with the balls to do that.

5 – What do you hope to gain in your relationship from M/s?

I’m really not sure there is much more to gain in our relationship.  I’m sure we’ll grow together over the years, fine tuning each other like a couple Baby Grands. But Master already is everything to me.  My owner, my lover, my friend, my father (no, not really, nitwit), my life, my religion…

A long time ago, I hoped M/s would bring me a deeper bond and someone who would never leave me.  Then I realized it was me who always ran and held everyone at arm’s length.

Now? I just want to be owned by my man.  I want to please Him.  And I want Him to be proud of me.  Nothing could make me happier.

6 – What, for you, is the hardest part of your chosen role? (master or slave)

Admitting I’m wrong.  Especially when, by society’s standards, I’m right.  I tend to forget that what society says means nothing.  That what Master says is all that matters.

7 – Do you foresee this being a part of your life forever or do you think it will eventually fade away?

I really don’t know.  In a perfect world, I would be a slave forever.  Life has a way of fucking up my plans, though.  So knowing my luck, M’ll decide He doesn’t want to be a master anymore when He turns 40 or something.  I’ve learned to stop expecting things to happen how I’d like them to.

Other than Him suddenly losing His damn mind and changing His mind about all this, the only thing I see really happening to our dynamic is me losing the ability to be on the floor all the time.  It’s already begun and I’m not even thirty yet.

8 – What’s your favorite rule? (M types too!)

You will not speak of yourself in a derogatory way.

First, this doesn’t necessarily mean that I can’t say bad things about myself.  If something is true, I can talk about it till the cows come home.  Until it’s not true anymore.

Except being fat.  Master loves my body.  That’s not to say He doesn’t think I can lose a few.  He just doesn’t care whether or not I do.  So I have to be careful with talking about how fat I am.  I’m not supposed to refer to it as disgusting or gross.  I have to be losing weight for the right reason: My health.

But I’m not allowed to put myself down and beat myself up with my faults.  I’m allowed to recognize them and work on fixing them.  That’s it.

This is my favorite rule because it shows that my mental and emotional state is important to Master.  It’s been a long time since anyone’s cared about that.

9 – What is more important in an M/s relationship: love, respect, or compatibility? Why do you feel this way?

From where I sit, the most important thing in a M/s relationship is respect.

Love is not necessary in M/s.  You don’t have to love someone to serve them, as is proven every day by secretaries, waitresses, housekeepers, maids, chefs, janitors, sanitation workers, and so on and so forth.  A slave can be trained to be compatible with his or her owner’s wishes.

But respect? You cannot sustain an M/s relationship without either respect or fear.  Why would anyone obey and/or follow someone they have no respect for? The only answer to that is because they fear them.

10 – How do you feel about limits in your current relationship? What, if any, do you have?

There are tons of things I’d rather not do.

You can keep the dishes.  I’ll pass on vacuuming.  Washing windows? Really? I mean, the second the wind blows, they’re dirty again!

Not really interested in bathroom play.  Well, I guess I sort of like golden showers.  But that’s it! Thankfully, M feels the same way.

I’ve had it up to here with making phone calls, please and thanks.  Will definitely give the finger to death.  Do on a regular basis, actually.  Can’t say I’d like to have an appendage removed.  And I’d like a break from cooking dinner.  That’s getting to be a bit much.

Here’s the thing, though.  I gave Him the right to control my limits.  And yes.  I would eat a barbecued baby for Him.  I hear they’re good with gravy.  I’ve only had buffalo style.

If you can’t hear the sarcasm in that, move along, please.  You’re too stupid to be on my site.

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  1. cinnamon
    September 16th, 2009 at 15:38 | #1

    LMFAO, at the barbecued baby! You’re terrible, but I know it’s true. I enjoyed your answers, but I was rather surprised at the answer to number 9. I think you’re probably right, and I’m sure I didn’t look a little further past my own relationship to come to my own conclusion.

    My question to you is, how do you feel about fear in an M/s relationship?

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