Archive for September 13th, 2009

What’s the point?

September 13th, 2009 4 comments
Abuse vs. SM pamphlet from the Leather Archives and Museum

Abuse v. SM Pamphlet from Leather Archives and Museum

I have a hard time, sometimes, writing for Eden Cafe.  Not because I don’t like to.  On the contrary.  I’m really grateful for the opportunity.  But writing for Eden Cafe is a little more difficult than writing here.

There, I can’t just say whatever I want to.  I have to tiptoe around the scary parts.  I have to be confident and concise in my explanations.  There should be a point to everything I say.  I can’t just ramble on like I usually do here.  And I can’t, for one second, talk about the days where I’d just as soon crawl under a rock and die as obey for one more second.  Usually over something stupid, like not wanting to wash dishes.

I can almost guarantee the complaints after a post like that would get me shut down in the blink of an eye.

Because to a lot of people, there is no such thing as consensual non-consent.  There is a fine line I have to walk to make sure these people – some of whom haven’t even heard of a true-to-life M/s couple that wasn’t a prostitution ring – leave with a better understanding of how we live.  A more positive outlook on the choice we’ve made.  And not an image of a downtrodden doormat who has no way out.

The other day, I was thinking about my reasoning for writing over at Eden Cafe.  A deeper reason than the sex toys, I mean.  What I’m hoping to accomplish.  The thought process behind my asking Master if He minded, and then applying.  And anyway, when I applied I was already getting sex toys in the mail.

I don’t usually throw my hat in the ring like that.  I sit back and hope someone will notice me and offer me what I want.  It ties into that whole lack of self-confidence thing.  I think I’m boring.  I assume everyone else thinks I’m boring.  And I’m genuinely surprised when I find out that someone, anyone thinks I’m interesting.

So there has to be a motivating factor.  Especially since I would be posting about such a controversial subject.  And M/s is still a controversial subject.

The site appears to have a bit of vanilla contributors who maybe, if you catch them in the right mood, on a day where the weather is perfect, might enjoy having their wrists tied with a silk scarf and their hind quarters spanked with a furry paddle if they had the opportunity to try it.  But what we do is way over the top for them.  If I ran into them on the street and told them who I was, some of them would probably try to tell me I’m abused.

You think we don’t know what some vanilla folks think of us? We watch The Practice and CSI and Law and Order, too.  We read the news.  We see places like the bed and breakfast nearby get shut down because people don’t “get it” (or because some of the players acted like buffoons – three sides to every story).  Read more…

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