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Morning Ritual and My Thoughts on Naysayers

September 12th, 2009

bdsmWe have a new morning ritual.  It allows us to connect mentally and physically, in a sense, at home and when He gets to the office.  Until yesterday, I was stoked.  But yesterday, my neck started to itch and I’m sort of worried that I’ll end up with a dreadful rash again.

But I still love our new morning ritual.  I love everything about it.  And even though it’s only been a short while, I feel naked and vulnerable and often go find the collar and cuffs without being told and ask to be allowed to put them on.

Every morning, when He gets to work, He makes me kneel in front of the camera and buckle the leather collar and cuffs around their respective parts.  It smacks of something an internet couple would do.  Except that when He’s home, just returned from work or all day, I kneel in front of Him and He buckles them on me Himself.  And I spend the day in collar and cuffs.

I take them off for things like doing dishes or cooking or if we have visitors or go out.  They were only thirty-five dollars, but thirty-five dollars is thirty-five dollars.  If we have thirty-five dollars to spend on something that isn’t bills, bus fare or groceries, then it needs to be spent on Him getting His new contacts or getting a physical.  Not new leather cuffs.  So, I take them off when I’m doing anything with my hands and put them back on when I’m finished.

The other day, after I got back in my desk chair and started bumbling around on FetLife, I realized a lot of people in some of the communities I belong to would sneer at our new ritual.  They’d lecture me on the difference between reality and fantasy BDSM.  They’d scoff at my sudden need to have the collar and cuffs on to feel safe.

I’m part of a couple groups on FetLife that, from the outside, look like they could totally be our kind of people.  And a year ago, with the way our relationship and sex life were going, I jumped right on their band wagon.  I cheered them on to the ends of the Earth.

Because our relationship sucked and our sex life was almost nonexistent.  We both worked.  Often opposing schedules.  We fought more than we fucked.  Which wasn’t saying much because we were lucky to fuck once a week.  And the picture of the master/slave relationship full of ritual and protocol and constant sexual tension was out the door.  Something we’d long since given up on attaining. 

So I was right there next to them.  Cheering on their lack of interest in ritual and protocol.  Clapping my hands and hooting when they spoke of how being horny all the time was impossible.  And how, even if it was possible, they wouldn’t want it.

I was trying to find a way to justify, within myself, the direction our relationship was headed.  I was trying to make it okay in my mind that it didn’t look like we were ever going to have that life that so long ago we said we wanted.

I allowed myself to go from, “I am a slave 24/7.”  to “Of course a 24/7 scene is impossible.”  to “It doesn’t really need to be so formal all the time.”  to “Dude, you take yourself too seriously.”  Enough is enough.

We have both made our decision.  We intend to attain the lifestyle that we had for a brief time before our families and His job got out of control.

More often than not, if you question these people who believe that ritual and protocol and a constant state of sexual tension fall on the side of fantasy BDSM, you’ll find that they have kids and nosy family and occupations that don’t allow them much time with their SO and… Just more obligations than they know what to do with.

M and I only have His job and each other, for the most part.  And His job is circumventable, now, with the new webcam.

I’m not trying to sound snotty.  That’s just the way it is.  Of course ritual and protocol and a constant state of sexual tension are impossible for those people to attain.  There’s entirely too much blocking the path.  By the time they’ve handled one obligation, they’re late for the next one.  It’s difficult enough to maintain a vanilla relationship that way, much less a M/s one that runs on ritual.

And I’m not saying everyone is this way.  I’m sure some of them really just firmly believe it’s fantasy and won’t entertain the possibility that some people do live and enjoy it.  Others probably just don’t think they, or anyone else, could.  Who knows?

What I do know is there aren’t many heterosexual men out there whose eyes don’t get big as saucers when a naked lady wearing leather collar and cuffs enters the room, so horny they can smell her from twenty feet away.  And not a single heterosexual dominant male would turn down  having a naked, easily restrainable slave always at the ready to follow His every command with the hope of getting fucked as raunchily and roughly as possible.

And every single submissive I know who swears this lifestyle isn’t about that would be in hog heaven if they could live it for just one day.

So don’t tell me that, if you could have it, you wouldn’t want it.  Unless you’ve got some deadly allergy to leather and sex, you’re full of shit.

I’ve had it since Tuesday.  And He intends to keep it that way.

I mean, we’re not fucking nonstop.  That’s just silly.  We have to, like, eat and drink and bathe and go potty and stuff.  But He’s played with or teased or fucked me in some way, shape or form through every day since Tuesday.

Yesterday, He paddled me with our new paddle and then left me squirming the rest of the day.  As soon as the review is published, I’ll link to it so you can see how I feel about it.  A much better purchase than the flogger.

Last night, He sat me on the couch while He worked and ordered me to cum over and over again until He got bored.  It was hours.  He made me suck Him off and came all over me and then put me back on the couch without letting me clean up.  Then finally He fucked me and told me I was done.  I wasn’t disappointed.  I was exhausted by then.  Still am.

This morning, He woke me by grabbing my waist and pressing His hard cock against my ass and cunt.  Then He pushed my legs open and crammed His cock in my pussy.  When He was done, He got up and got cleaned up and told me to make coffee.  I wasn’t allowed to cum.  I’m still so horny.

He teases me throughout the day either by hitting me or kissing me or tormenting my various girly bits.  He’s been known to walk over and nonchalantly plop a wood clamp on my nipple and then walk away still holding on.  He rotates between a whip, the measuring stick and a paddle and catches me in various places as I move.

I missed this.  I don’t want to lose this again.  I really missed this.

Oh… and M’s getting a raise (Did I say that, already?) and two kids are coming off of support around the end of November.  We should be comfortable, financially, by Christmas provided none of our bills change.  I’m excited.  We deserve it.

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  1. September 12th, 2009 at 17:26 | #1

    Rayne,

    I’m so happy you two were albe to find that groove again. Everyone should strive to be the person they desire to be.

    “And not a single heterosexual dominant male would turn down having a naked, easily restrainable slave always at the ready to follow His every command with the hope of getting fucked as raunchily and roughly as possible.” I can give witness to that one, amen!

    Dave

  2. September 12th, 2009 at 18:50 | #2

    @dweaver999 Thanks, Dave. 🙂 We are, too.

    And I agree. Everyone should strive to be who they want to be.

  3. cinnamon
    September 12th, 2009 at 20:48 | #3

    Applauds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!! You guys have needed this for so long! I am so happy to see it. It may not be something that is attainable for me and Master yet, but I am not above cheering on a fellow slave for getting that which she desires! Cum on my friend!

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