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A Question About Friendship

August 30th, 2009

This is a question for those of the M/s sort and I’m asking from the male owner/female slave perspective because that’s what I live. Others can answer if they like, though.

I often find myself having trouble keeping up with friendships. Both on line and in real life.

I’m often dragged away from the computer without the option of saying “bbl” before I sign off. I’m not allowed to go anywhere alone so I’m always turning down “girls’ night” and coffee dates and parties.

Not so much now that I don’t work, but when I did I was always getting asked to go somewhere after work. “We’ll leave the boys home…” and that was when I had to say no. Even if I was allowed, I wouldn’t want to. It sucks being home alone while your significant other is out gallivanting.

So my questions are:

What does the phrase “being a friend” mean to you?

Do you think it’s possible for a slave to be a friend? If so, do you think that requires certain allowances on the part of the master and/or the friend?

In your mind, should a slave be allowed to have friends? If so, do you think her friends should be restricted to those her owner feels improve her somehow?

Do you allow more leniency in your friendships with slaves, knowing that their time is not their own?

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  1. cinnamon
    August 30th, 2009 at 15:36 | #1

    What does the phrase “being a friend” mean to you? Being a friend means you’re there for each other even if disagreements arise. It means having each others backs, but still being able to point out when one is wrong as well. Sometimes, it means knowing when to keep your mouth shut and just listen. Being a friend is like being family.

    Do you think it’s possible for a slave to be a friend? If so, do you think that requires certain allowances on the part of the master and/or the friend? Of course I think it’s possible for a slave to be a friend. I think it takes knowing and understanding the difference in our types of relationships though. It means not taking it personally if someone disappears unexpectedly. We can not be disobedient because we’re hangin with the girls. We can not ignore our Masters because a friend is going through some shit. We can ask for special freedoms if a friend is going through a trying time, however I think it depends on the closeness and solidity of the particular friendship whether that permission is granted.

    In your mind, should a slave be allowed to have friends? If so, do you think her friends should be restricted to those her owner feels improve her somehow? I think they should have friendship, especially in this lifestyle. A support network is very important in keeping up your motivation and well being. Restricting friendships based on influence may or may not be good. Personality play a big part in compatibility, and forcing a slave to be friends with non compatible personalities may very well be counterproductive. However, if a particular person is encouraging bad behavior, then I feel it should be necessary to put a stop to that.

    Do you allow more leniency in your friendships with slaves, knowing that their time is not their own? Absolutely! I know I end up MIA all the time, with people wondering what happened to me. A real friend understands and doesn’t hold a grudge based on something as trivial as that, especially knowing that a hold a particular role and don’t make decisions regarding their free time.

  2. Joji
    September 1st, 2009 at 11:01 | #2

    honestly? I think friendship goes beyond just daily get togethers etc. I mean it would be great if we all had the time and availability to just drop what we’re doing and go hang out. But realistically, in the adult world, this often isnt the case. I don’t have my Master here to pull me away from the computer or put restrictions on my social life. I do however have a ft job and a 6 year old boy. Both of which keep me out of the social scene and computer quite frequently.

    A friend to me is someone you can talk to whenever you choose, they’re there to help you hold together, to strengthen and support you, and they’re there when the chips fall. Not just for the girls night outs and everything else that it entails. Its a bond on a deeper more emotional level. It goes far beyond quality time – though thats nice too.

    I think that a slave should most definately be allowed to have friends, especially friends which can support/reinforce they’re dynamic. I don’t particurlarly think you could call someone a friend who was constantly undermining your faith in any relationship outside that friendship whether it be m/s or not. A friend accepts a person as is, even if they dont agree, and will be there if things go wrong.

    I do think that the owner could enforce the belief that a friend should improve but I also believe the majority of that ownus should be on the slave themselves. If you have a friend thats bringing out your more negative habits or you find around them they’re encouraging less desireable behaviour then its time to question the quality of person you’re choosing to associate with. We are, after all, a reflection of those we choose to have around us. Family is one thing. We have no choice there, our friends are our own choices and I cannot see that I would allow a friendship to continue which encouraged or promoted bad behaviour.

    I don’t actually have many friends who are slaves. That being said, I do understand that, whether m/s or no, alot of my friends do have a life that exists outside of me and I cannot possibly be first priority all the time if ever. It’s one thing to have life get in the way of my social plans, its another entirely to be constantly brushed off. The key is in distinguishing btwn the two.

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