Archive for August 29th, 2009

“Let’s just start over in the morning, okay?” M whispered.

August 29th, 2009 2 comments

Topfer_ReveAnd I nodded through my sobs, relief and gratitude washing over me.

I pushed a little too hard last night.  Master is no longer content to let me lead.  He’s clipped leash to collar (both literally and figuratively) and is dragging me along behind Him.

I won’t rehash the argument.  It doesn’t matter what was said.  Even if I had valid points – and I’m not even sure I did anymore – it’s kind of difficult to argue with, “I’m the master.  Not you.”

It would be so much easier if I’d remember that from the instant I get upset.

I’m still confused.  I have the right and responsibility to go to Him with problems, but I’m required to live by the “Master is always right.” creed.  I’m sure there’s a happy medium in there, somewhere, but I tend to jump from one extreme to the next.  “Oh.  You’re always right, huh? So, you don’t care if I have a problem.  You’re not interested in my happiness.”

I did say that to Him.  His response?

“You’re right.  When you’re being a cunt and ignoring my orders and disobeying my rules, I don’t give a flying fuck about your happiness.”

I kind of blinked at Him for a second.  It’s not fair for Him to be logical! That’s just fighting dirty!

He was going to release me.  It was a good long time before I could swallow my pride and ask beg Him not to.  I often say I don’t even know how to beg.  I sure figured it out in a hurry last night.

Long ago in a land not so far away (Three streets over, in fact.), when we had a spat or I was in trouble, one of the first things I would do was lick Him.  Anywhere I could reach.  Until He told me to stop or fucked me or… something.  It calmed Him down and made it easier to converse with Him.  Read more…

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