I’m not really sure how I’m pulling off three real posts for each of the non-real posts I’ve done since yesterday.  I have pretty much nothing to say and I’ve got a shitload to do between now and tomorrow at 11am.  I better figure it out, though, so I don’t get banned from participating, huh?

Today in a word? Suckage.

I’m cranky and irritable and falling quickly into the “Nothing ever works.  No one likes me.  I suck.”  mindset.  I know what’s destroying my normal “We’ll bounce back.” attitude.  But knowing isn’t changing the voices in my head.  Or what they’re saying.

M got a promotion.  You’d think that would be really friggin cool, right? Except:

• He’s not getting a raise and He makes $10k less than the person who is now under Him in the chain of command.
• They’re not taking anything off His plate.  Except a couple projects that can’t be worked because they won’t buy the equipment needed.
• They’re singling Him out on every. single. policy they possibly can while saying “We can’t survive as a company without you.  Please don’t leave!”
• They won’t offer Him any compensation whatsoever for the extra work He does.
• They actually dock His pay for being late, out sick or working from home even though He works at least 60 hours a week regardless of whether or not He’s in the office.
• They have actually given Him attitude because He asked to be allowed to work remotely a couple days a month instead of getting a raise until they could afford to give Him a raise.
• They know He can’t quit without killing us so they treat Him like dog shit.

They told Him that maybe they’ll reconsider compensation at the end of September.  Maybe.

He doesn’t deserve this. 

That’s not just my “I worship Him cause I’m hopelessly devoted to Him and He owns me.” bias speaking.  He has given His all to this company for seven years.

Prior to this promotion, He’s taken on two extra full-time jobs without even asking for compensation.  He works late and goes in early and does overnights without complaint even though no one else does.  He’s dealt with their bullshit policy changes made specifically for Him (e.g. I’m the only employee family member who is not allowed in the office without prior permission even though all I do is sit there quietly.  Just me.  Everyone else, unannounced, brings their kids, their moms, their wives, their fifth cousin twice removed…  He’s the only person required to claim PTO when He’s late even though He works 60+ hours a week.  He’s the only one not allowed to work from home for any reason.).  The constant changes in management.  The insults.  The complete lack of gratitude regardless of what He does.  The fact that they constantly praise others for Master’s work and ignore the fact that He’s the only one who actually worked on it.  Them allowing managers to treat Him badly and/ or single Him out simply because there’s tension between them.

I don’t know what’s more insulting.  That they’re begging Him to stay while saying “We will not offer you anything in return.” or that they know we’re poor so they think it’s okay for them to do so.

And if it weren’t for the fact that they’re literally begging Him to stay, I’d think they were trying to get rid of Him.

I’ve been crying since He told me.  He doesn’t deserve this.  He’s worth so much more than this.

The possibility of us losing hosting is much higher now.  I’ve begged Him to either put in His resignation or give them an ultimatum.

I’ve made it clear to Him that I really don’t care how we manage to survive without His job.  That I will do whatever it takes.  And that I would like it to be made clear to His employer that our financial situation no longer matters to us.  If they do not do something about the way He’s being treated, He will leave.

I’m not sure what decision He’s made.  He was so angry He had to leave the office.  Until now, I’ve never seen anyone but me make Him that angry.

And why shouldn’t He be? The one person in the company He thought He could count on to not be a total and complete dickhead just was.

To be honest, I hope He just resigns.  I will live on the street if I have to.  This job is crushing His soul.  And it’s breaking my heart.

He doesn’t deserve this.  He’s so much better than this.

Fuck you, T, and your overpriced ego.  You’re no better than the pimps on the streets of your home town.

And if your spies find our site and tell you what I said? Good.  Maybe it’ll open your cemented eyes.

I used to respect you.