I’ve been looking for a good feminine wash for ages. I used to use Summer’s Eve, but, after a while, it caused more irritation than plain old soap and water. So I stopped.

When I started this reviewing thing, I bumbled around looking for a good feminine wash, and my eye fell on Sliquid Splash Gentle Feminine Wash. My first thought, as with most of us aromaphiles, was “What fragrances do they have?”

It comes in grapefruit thyme (I’ve been saying grapefruit ginger to everyone. Everyone? I lied. Though I wonder what that would smell like. Good, I bet.), honeydew cucumber, and unscented. I’ve never smelled anything grapefruit thyme before, so I stuck with what I know: Honeydew cucumber. I now wish I’d bought the grapefruit thyme. Not because I don’t like the honeydew cucumber. I do! A lot! I just wish I’d had the balls to try something new.

Sliquid Splash comes in a recyclable plastic bottle with a push-down lid. The coral and lime green label sports a woman’s face, the symbol for female and such things as its 100% Vegan ingredients:  

• Purified H2O
• Sodium Coco Sulfate (derived from coconut oil)
• Coco Betaine (derived from coconut oil)
• Coco Amide (derived from coconut oil)
• Sea Salt
• Citric Acid
• EGMS
• Essential Oil Fragrances
• DMDM Hydantoin
• FD&C Green #3

And its claims to fame:

• An intimate cleansing formula
• Honeydew and cucumber fragrance
• Hypoallergenic and Glycerin free
• Removes odor causing bacteria
• Formulated as an alternative to traditional soap and water cleansers
• Perfectly balanced to compliment a woman’s PH.

At first, I was disappointed. I kept trying to smell it but I couldn’t smell much of anything. Then I unscrewed the top and noticed the foil seal. I? Am an idiot.

Most cucumber melon stuff I’ve used is almost heavy. The fragrance is warm and thick. Sometimes just smelling a cucumber melon lotion makes me start to sweat. But I love the fragrance so I deal. Not so with Sliquid Splash.

Sliquid Splash is light and airy. Sweet and soft. Fresh and edible. No, I’m not suggesting you eat the soap. Although Sliquid says you can; it just might taste nasty. I didn’t try it. But if the fragrance were a food, it would be delicious.

You know how occasionally we have those menstrual cycles that just smell disgusting? So bad, in fact, that normal soap doesn’t always do the trick? I’m talking one of those periods that makes you seriously reconsider your decision not to douche, regardless of the possible consequences.

I used this product the first time on one of those periods. My man and I had just done some serious fucking and I damn near ran to the bathroom choking and gagging. Okay, it wasn’t that bad. But close.

I’m a cheap bitch. Especially when it comes to a smell-good soap that costs $11.99 for an 8.5 ounce bottle. But I wanted to try this as an all over body wash because someone else said it works well for that purpose. And I’m sick of Irish Spring.

So, I put a tiny-iny bit (read: a dot just a little larger than a dime, maybe) on my loofah and started washing. I was pleasantly surprised. So many body washes hardly lather at all unless you use a lot, and leave you slimy when you try to rinse off.

Not Sliquid Splash! It lathered quite well for so light a soap, moisturized amazingly, and left a satiny (as opposed to slimy) hint of honeydew cucumber on my skin. I wanted to wash again. But I’m cheap, remember?

The amazing thing, though? The thing that left me pleased as punch? Five hours later, when I finally remembered I was supposed to be reviewing something, I still didn’t smell like a used tampon down there. Like, not even a hint of it. That’s pretty cool, if you ask me.

And!

I’m one of those people who can wash twenty times in the shower and the soap smell is gone within an hour. Even if I sit completely still. Even with Irish Spring. Seven hours later, when I thought to check again, I could still smell the faint aroma of honeydew wafting off my skin. That’s friggin amazing!

So I figured I’d wash with it a few more times before giving it the thumbs up. And I did. And I’m still pleased as punch.

I’m already bugging M about buying more Sliquid products and have extracted a promise that when I run out of this one I can buy another bottle. If the rest of their line is as good as this one product, I’ll be in hog heaven.