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Training is Painful

July 30th, 2009 4 comments

“Training is painful.”  He said, as I sat and stared at the floor.

I blinked back the tears that were freely flowing before He got home and lifted my head.  I remember those words.

Seven years ago He said them.  Stole a line – or three – from a book.

He told me that my collar was to teach me, to control me and to bring me pain.  He said it wouldn’t always be good pain.  He said it wouldn’t always be intentional.  But He promised me that my collar would bring me pain.

Tuesday was different.

Back then, He was jumpy.  Nervous.  The training was sexual in nature.  The craving driven by our loins.

Night after night, I knelt in the kitchen while He circled me.  And night after night, He sent me to another man to be used.  Reminded of my place.

Back then I wasn’t ready.  I would have taken any nervousness on His part as weakness.  Incompetence.  Probably did.

Back then I was irrational and unreasonable. Read more…

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