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“We” vs. “Me”

July 25th, 2009

I realize I’ve been a posting fiend recently.  Master’s working a LOT.  He’s working right now.  And I’ve got all this shit spinning round and round in my head and I’m all sorts of excited that I’m actually paying attention to shit that needs paying attention to and…  I’m thinking.  Logically.  About things that need thinking about.  And that’s really freaking cool.

And it really does only take an hour to clean our house.  That’s no joke.  So what the hell else am I supposed to do while He’s working besides sit and think about all the shit I’ve caused and what steps I can take to fix it? Ah well.  Maybe I’ll get that writing job I applied for and y’all will get at least a couple hours respite from me.  =D

I was going to start this entry “So M used to talk to this girl I hated…” because I usually hate the girls He likes and vice versa.  But then it occurred to me that I’m not really sure if I even knew the chick.  Best not to start shit over no shit.

So!

Master used to talk to this chick.  I’m not sure how often He actually talked to her.  Maybe only a few times.  I just remember that her intentions were to get involved with Him in some way.  And one or the other of us pointed her to our blog.  I think, back then, it was my blog.  I don’t think the idea of Master blogging had even been discussed yet.

So she came here, looked around, read a few articles…  And then went to Master and told Him, “Your slave concentrates on herself too much.  Every entry is ‘I think this.’ or ‘I did that.’ There’s rarely ever mention of ‘we’ or ‘us’ or even ‘him’. You should work on that.”

Back then, neither of us was all that open to criticism.  On the blog.  On our relationship.  On anything.  Especially from someone on the outside looking in.  And tell Master how to train His property? Ha!

I remember wanting to lose my shit on her.  I insisted that ID (Which, I think, was a simple blog we had done absolutely no advertising on and didn’t even have the same domain.) was my site.  A place for me to express my thoughts and feelings and emotions.  And what does “we” have to do with that? Heh.

Master wouldn’t let me.  Insisted He had handled it.

But here’s the thing.  She was right.

I’ve been spending quite a bit of time going through old entries.  We used an auto-tagger for the tags so I have to read them to make sure the tags are right.  They’re usually not.  Lol.

And I have, for a very long time, concentrated mostly on my thoughts.  My opinions.  My wants, needs, emotions.  Not just in the blog but in our relationship as well.

It’s hard to be a “we” when all you think about is “me”.

I’ve been making an effort to say “we” when it’s appropriate.  I’ve been making an effort to be more in tune with His thoughts and feelings and opinions.  I’m not really sure why this didn’t occur to me before.

So, mystery girl whose name I can’t remember, I’m sorry I got upset when you pointed out the truth.  I’m not even sure you knew cause I’m sure I wouldn’t have told you after Master told me not to.  I don’t think.  Okay, maybe I would have.  In any case…  I apologize.  You were right.  Thanks.

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