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Panic

June 15th, 2009

There’s a kid at Master’s job who is quite literally the most immature little prick I’ve ever met.  And he’s got a boner for Master.

His first order of business was to get permission for me to be with Master at the office on Mondays and Wednesdays revoked.  It was as simple as whining that it wasn’t fair.  The facts that there’s no one else at the office Master’s in on Monday and Wednesday (hence no one for me to distract), this kid refuses to work at that office and the kid doesn’t have a wife or girlfriend to bring with him (unless you include the married HR person everyone’s pretty sure he’s boinking) were ignored.  It was simply, “He’s right.  It’s not fair.  Leave her home.”

Which, whatever.  I mean, the bright side is that I’ll have more time to keep the house clean, right?  No more excuse for dishes to pile up.  Cause I simply can’t bring myself to clean when He’s home unless He’s cleaning too.  I feel like I’m cutting into His time if I do.

But in the meantime?  While I’m sitting here trying to get my morning tasks finished, I’m freaking the fuck out.

Every time He falls silent for more than a minute or two (And He’s only been gone since 7:40am.  It’s been an hour and four minutes.), my stomach fills with butterflies and I want to pace.  I’ve already started a load of dishes (read: filled the sink with soap and water and put the dishes in) but I can’t bring myself to finish them because I don’t want to step away from the computer lest He say something and I miss it.

My hands are shaking and I can’t concentrate.  And I’ve already sent Him one AIM message asking where He is.  Because He hadn’t said anything in ten minutes.

I am in a full-blown panic.  All because I can’t sit in an office I hate sitting in with Master.

Codependency.  I has it.

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  1. June 15th, 2009 at 14:43 | #1

    You’ll get through this, hang in there. Keep busy. It’ll take time but you’ll gradually get used to the change. {{{{hugs}}}}

  2. June 16th, 2009 at 08:24 | #2

    @Amber Thanks, Amber.
    We had a lunch/dinner date last night and it really did wonders to calm me down. I’m feeling much better today.

    Of course, I don’t really have time to think about it, either. Landlord’s probably going to want to come in today and, while the house isn’t a pigsty, it isn’t in the condition we’d like it to be in. I’m not sure what even possessed me to sit down. Heh.

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