Archive for June, 2009

Reveling in My Sexuality

June 30th, 2009 3 comments

So…  Where to start.

I’ve fucked more than thirty people, male and female.  Less females than men.  Most of my relationships with females didn’t involve sex.  And when they did, it was rarely what one would consider fucking.

I love all things sexual.  I hear submissives and masochists say things like “I can’t get off unless I get hurt.” or “Sex just isn’t worth it without pain.” or what-have-you.  But I’ve not found a thing yet that prevents me from cumming.  Except maybe being so angry I’m completely turned off.  But even then, force is a sure-fire way to get me all hot and bothered.  So anger doesn’t stave it off long.

Until recently, that’s made me feel really friggin’ guilty.

I don’t know what my parents tried to teach me about sex.  I can’t say for certain that they intentionally gave me a negative predisposition to it.  But all things sexual were off limits.

My mother thought it better I learn from school what my period and sex were.  And by that time I already knew.

In kindergarten I was fingered by a boy in ninth grade, not knowing enough to even want to stop him, and really liked it.  And then my mom got pregnant and bought me a book called “So that’s where babies come from!” (which I can’t even find on Amazon!).  I thought, “Finally.  I can find out if I’m right about sex.”  Read more…

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Midday Fuckfest

June 29th, 2009 Comments off

buttSo I was pretty convinced the picture-taking wasn’t going to happen.  It’s hard relinquishing our “hang out and relax” time to performing.  In front of or behind the camera.  But relinquish it we did.  And pictures were taken.  Pictures I don’t ever want anyone to see.  Well… except one or two.

I suck at the whole model-face thing.  And I’d just sit and look normal except my “sit and look normal” face looks like “uber bitch” to everyone else.  So I’m gonna have to start practicing facial expressions in the mirror or something.  Seriously.

Master wasn’t watching my face.  He was watching my pussy.  Through the lens of His camera.  As I thrusted my BOB in and out over and over.

He kept telling me what to do.  “Okay now play with your clit.”  “Fuck yourself some more.”  “Hold it open so I can beat it.”  *screeching halt* What?

I tried.  I swear to god, I tried (Yes, I see the irony in me swearing to something I don’t believe in).  Can I just say that shit fucking hurts?  Especially when He’s hitting as hard as He can there first.  But He really was trying to rip my pussy lips off with the flogger to find a happy medium.  Somewhere between gruesome torture the way He likes to hit and feather like caresses how much my pussy can handle right off the bat.  Apparently I’m more of a warm-up girl than I realized. Read more…

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Something Positive

June 26th, 2009 4 comments

348730-7-true-measureSo way back when, before we updated and lost comments (Boo!  On the losing comments part, not the updating part.  I really like the new layout.  M did a kick-ass job.  In case I haven’t said it, thank you, Master!), I put up a post called Scared Stiff: Insecurities.  It’s basically just a list of some of the things that being so damned insecure and self-conscious affects in my day to day life.  Things that piss me off, that is.

I also mentioned I want to overcome them.  And promptly did nothing about it.

But I can’t do this anymore.  I can’t spend hours at a time crying over not being a super model.  I can’t keep freaking out about details that are just not possible to correct right this second.  And most of all, I’m sick of being fucking depressed all the time.

Someone said to me the other day, “It’s always something with you.”  And they’re right.  Something is always going wrong or pissing me off or upsetting me.  Try as I might, looking at the bright side does me no good.  And that needs to change.

Anyway… Vanimp and Amber both said I should make a list of my good qualities.  Things I like about myself.  And I’ve been meaning to and putting it off.  Because I have a really hard time seeing any good in myself.  And I have a hard time believing people when they compliment me because my opinion of myself is so low.

I’m already crying just thinking of the exercise.  Heh.  But without further ado, my positive traits. Read more…

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Babble is My Middle Name

June 25th, 2009 Comments off
Happy half naked Thursday!

Happy half naked Thursday!

Oh, hey!  Today’s Thursday, iddnit?  Well, darn it all, I’ve just been so busy.

Doing what, you ask?  Well, going back to work.

Yeah… It really sucks.  I have to get up early in the morning, get Master ready, get me ready and then commute to my job.  At my desk.

I can’t talk about what it is yet.  I’m nervous and excited at the same time.  And the best part is not having to leave the house to do it.  Okay… that’s not the best part.  But it’s a really awesome part!

So I’ve been reading the “handbook” and getting things together I’m going to need when I start (probably this weekend) and… And driving myself insane with the details like I tend to do.

What else?

Cin is MIA.  Like, for freaking real!  I haven’t seen hide nor hair of that girl for… two days.  I’m insulted.  Okay not really.  Just bored.  Cause Kaya’s always so freaking busy with the house and Carrie’s like… mute these days and everybuddy else took off to never-never land and it takes all of five minutes to clean my house (Okay, more like an hour. But still!) cause it’s so damn tiny.

Oh! So!

Master and I were talking the other day.  And I was getting all pouty cause we haven’t taken pictures in ages.  And I started talking about some cliche poses I’ve seen (cliche cause everyone’s done it once) that I’d really like to do anyway.  Just cause we never have and I think it would be fun.  And pretty.  And romantic.

Ah, the romance.

So we’re gonna.  Yeah.  We’re gonna start taking pictures again.  Speaking of which, I should probably go plug His battery in.  Stay tuned!

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Know the code!

June 22nd, 2009 Comments off

For the men who read here:

Just a heads up.  You’re welcome.  =D

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Lots o’ Fuckin!

June 21st, 2009 Comments off

CoupleVectorMaster fucked all three holes in twenty-four hours.

I hear ya.  I hear ya.

What’s so unusual about that?

Well, ya see…  It is very unusual for Master to fuck all three holes in twenty-four hours.  Matter of fact, if He fucks my mouth and pussy in the same day it’s odd.  He’s the type that decides on a hole and sticks with it for that day.  Or maybe for a week.  There were a couple months where I was lucky if He was in anything but my mouth.  No lie.

I’m not sure that He does it consciously.  Matter of fact, He probably doesn’t even realize He does it.  Well, until He reads this, that is.

But you see…  This is what happened.

We’re watching South Park, okay?  And we’re both a little intoxicated.  Okay, we’re both a lot intoxicated.  And I really don’t remember what prompted it but He said something about “Why don’t you touch your cunt, Cunt?” or something and I thought I was in for a night of serious hurting.  I was totally ready for a night of serious hurting.

I got my night of serious hurting… just not the way I expected to.

Apparently, just gathering the clamps I could find was enough to give Master an unbearable hard-on.  Cause I’d only clamped my nipples once and my clit twice before He said, “I think you should get on your hands and knees in front of me.”  I hadn’t even brought the paddle or cane out.  Just the slut-paddle.  And I brought that out with the intention of beating my pussy. Read more…

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