Archive for May 30th, 2009

Emotional Blackmail

May 30th, 2009 Comments off

We’ve all done it. We get into a fight with our significant other (be it in a vanilla relationship or not) and when things get heated the emotional blackmail comes into play. What started as a small disagreement suddenly turns into a relationship killer because one of the parties uses things such as “Then I’ll just leave and you won’t have to deal with me anymore!” or “I don’t want to be with you anymore, happy now?”.

The sad thing is that most times when these types of things are said it’s not something the one who said it is even considering. It’s just a heat of the moment type of utterance that can be one of the most long term damaging things someone in a relationship can do. More after the jump.

I used to go through this with rayne, even after she became my slave. We were both guilty of it. We would start arguing about something tiny (work, hers and mine, was a common topic). Before we knew it either she was saying she didn’t want to be a slave anymore, or I was standing at the door threatening to leave. In our relationship, this kind of reaction on both of our parts had lasting consequences that have not been easy to repair.

I’m guilty, being the Master, for allowing arguments to continue to that level, and that was something I had to accept and deal with internally. Unfortunately, being in control of another human being doesn’t mean that you have the right to just switch it off when things get tough. In fact, those are the times dominants need to be even more consistent and not allow the heat of the moment to damage an otherwise good relationship. Read more…

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