I’ll be the first to admit I can be kind of an asshat. I’m pretty ridiculous when it comes to my standards for women. Seriously.

So I’m sitting here pouting because I’m going through the few groups I’ve found on FetLife that are for people in our area and… the women are not living up to my standards. I mean no offense! Honest! I just have weird standards.

For example, if it’s left up to me, I won’t have anything to do with a woman (beyond friendship, I mean) if she has a fucked up nose. I can’t exactly describe what a “fucked up nose” is. And I don’t think I currently have any friends with fucked up noses or I’d show you a picture of a fucked up nose. I just know it when I see it. A fucked up nose is a deal breaker.

And I don’t really want a “chain sister” who’s over 40. I’m sure there will be exceptions. And it’s got nothing to do with whether or not we’ll have anything in common. From ages 19-22, my best friend was 49-52, so I know that’s not the case. I just… guess I want someone closer to my own age.

The next weird standard is that I’m not really attracted to women bigger than me. Which isn’t saying much since I currently tip the scales at 230lbs (I’ve gained 15lbs back since November. It sucks. I started a new system. That’s for another post.). I think that’s more of a mental thing than anything else, though. Like I’m afraid I’ll just let myself get back up to 275lbs – or more! – if I’m with a woman who’s bigger than me. Not that there’s anything wrong with that if you’re happy with it. But I’m not happy with it for myself.

And the final deal breaker in my book (Which has nothing to do with Master’s book and might not even be taken into consideration if we ever do start actively looking for His second slave.) is them living with someone else or being married. It doesn’t make any sense to me. How could Master possibly own her completely if His second slave was actively participating in a relationship elsewhere? He would be expected to share his time, his property with someone else. It wouldn’t be “May I please?” It would be “You don’t have a choice.”

So far, in going through the lists of members in the groups for my area on Fet, the single submissive women fall under one or more of these categories. Now I know why we haven’t found her yet. She doesn’t seem to exist.