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BDSM and Feminism

February 24th, 2009

Kaya posted a blog about a raging feminazi she found on the web. The woman truly believes that women involved in BDSM are destroying the very fiber of feminism.

She says that feminism isn’t about equality at all. It’s about freeing women from oppression. Whether they like it or not. And that no woman should be allowed to indulge in any sort of behavior in which she is dominated.

There’s more to her message but I haven’t had the will to read. I’ll muddle through it eventually. But the thought of someone being that closed-minded simultaneously makes me sad and angry. As well as baffles me beyond belief. How can anyone in one breath say that women shouldn’t be oppressed and then oppress them by refusing them what they desire? *sigh*

Anyway, I’ve begun my own bit of research. I’m searching the web for feminist organizations and asking them for their stance. The following is the email I’m sending:

Hi there. Recently there have been a number of debates around the globe about BDSM (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM) and feminism. People are saying things like “BDSM knocks the feminist movement back 30 years!” and “Feminism isn’t about a woman having the choice to live how she wants. It’s about freeing her from oppression.”

I’m wondering… Where does your organization stand on a woman’s right to choose how to live? Is feminism really only about freeing women from oppression? Or is it about giving us a choice? And do you feel those of us who prefer to live in a patriarchal household (And some of us didn’t live in a patriarchal household growing up, so it’s not always learned behavior.) are… wrong somehow?

Thank you for your time 🙂

Stay tuned for their responses.

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  1. curvy_mermaid
    July 14th, 2010 at 23:11 | #1

    i think first of all bdsm encompasses female dominants as well, so its a strange argument. one could say that being a female dominant head of a heterosexual household is the most feminist way to be if you were going down that trajectory, but as a feminist submissive female, i am going to give you a different way of looking at it. feminism to me is is about the right of all people to be free from constrictions that the binary laws of gender in this monotheistic patriarchal culture offer us. it means that you get to choose whatever your personal gender configuration is in the mood for that day. I personally feel like a submissive female and its a feminist act for me to follow those deep latent desires to the fullest so that i can be happy and satisfied. for isn’t that what women have not been allowed for the last few thousand years since the raiders came in and destroyed the ancient civilizations that honored the Mother? Satisfaction? I think any woman that makes a consensual choice to honor her desires is honoring herself and that is the most feminist act of all

  2. July 15th, 2010 at 07:31 | #2

    @curvy_mermaid Thanks. 🙂 I agree. I’m pretty sure the woman I mentioned in this post has a problem with all forms of BDSM, not just female submission. And I only ever got two responses to my emails. Annoying, right?

  3. July 15th, 2010 at 08:01 | #3

    curvy_mermaid :
    it means that you get to choose whatever your personal gender configuration is in the mood for that day.

    O.o

    I think I’m gonna decide today that I’m a flying monkey from the Amazon. What? Don’t tell me what I can’t do! ::cough::

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