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Causing Him Discomfort

February 12th, 2009

There’s a possibility that Master inherited fibromyalgia (His mother has fibromyalgia, among other things) or some other similarly symptomatic ailment that causes Him to be in constant pain. Some days are better than others. But sometimes, just resting His arm on me hurts Him.

When we first got together, it didn’t bother Him as much. We cuddled all the time. I’d fall asleep in His lap while watching TV or lay across His legs when we were out picnicking… But over the years, it’s gotten worse.

This is particularly difficult for me because I’m a cuddle bug. It’s not one of those things that if I can’t have it I’m lost. It’s just not easy having to be careful about when I clobber Him with affection.

He realizes it’s hard on me and tries to deal with the pain when He can. Sometimes that means a ten second hug and then back to my side of the couch. Sometimes it means He’s in pain for a while afterward because He wanted to hold me despite the pain. But, more often than not, it means I don’t get the luxury of falling asleep in His arms or wrapping myself around Him to keep warm.

Last night, He fell asleep with His arm draped over me. It didn’t last long. Thirty minutes, tops. Then He woke up and turned over. But while it was there, I was in heaven.

I couldn’t fall asleep. I was too excited to have Him sleeping with His arm around me. I just laid there concentrating on the feel of His relaxed muscles and the weight of His arm pressing me into the mattress. The warmth of His skin and the tickle of His fingers as they twitched against my side. It was so blissful just laying there… until I started feeling guilty about the pain He’d eventually be in.

Are there things your owner does for you that cause him/her discomfort? Things that you could never take for granted because you know how much they bother them?

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