Archive for February 12th, 2009

AA is Invading My Kinkfest!

February 12th, 2009 Comments off

Oi vey. I’ve never seen so many Alcoholics and Narcotics Anonymous members in one place. Course, having lived in a small town at the time, the meetings I attended when I got out of rehab were small.

AA works for a number of my family and friends. NA hasn’t worked for anyone I’ve known personally to date but I have a friend who has a friend who has a cousin… You know how that goes.

I don’t necessarily think the meetings are a “bad” thing. I try really, really hard not to discredit things that work for other people just because they don’t work for me. I guess it’s best to say that it just didn’t work for me. I had to get out of my own way before I could recover. And the meetings slammed me right back in my way.

I used to go to my meetings high as a kite, listen to everyone talk about how much fun they had when they were high and run to cop as soon as I walked out the door. I didn’t even stop for the customary cigarette and cup o’ joe. When I got to my spot, there were always at least five other people from the meeting looking guiltily around at the rest of us and giving small self-conscious nods and halfhearted smiles while they waited their turn.

I take issue with a lot of their philosophies. Part of that is because I take issue with the idea that occasional drinking and/or drug use is a “bad” thing. Occasional meaning “once in a while” – knowing your limits and not exceeding them.

It’s my personal opinion that street drugs should be legal and regulated. The price, with tax, shouldn’t go up and the government should find some way to compensate the dealers, if only by giving them licenses to sell. But they should definitely be taxed. Our economy is in the toilet. With the amount of drug users in large cities, I bet legalizing drugs would jump start it.

It would be safer because they could be sure there were no harmful additives and people wouldn’t have to go to knock spots in bad neighborhoods to cop. Hell, I bet we’d find a way to make “Light Cocaine” and “Medium Heroine” and “Full Flavor Crack”. *grin*

Keep the rehabs open. Run your meetings. I’m sure there will still be abusers. I mean, alcohol is abused, isn’t it? Cigarettes are probably technically abused, too, we just don’t really view them as a “drug” outside of AA and NA. And those “drugs” are legal.

But Prohibition proved that the temptation to break the law only fuels the fire when it comes to using something that makes us “feel good”. And alcohol abuse rates went down when the government lifted the ban.

We’re a rebellious bunch, we Americans. Our history started that way. It will probably end that way.  Question authority, I say.  Yes, I realize how ironic that is coming from a slave.  I consented to that authority.  I was born into the rest.  Read more…

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Causing Him Discomfort

February 12th, 2009 Comments off

There’s a possibility that Master inherited fibromyalgia (His mother has fibromyalgia, among other things) or some other similarly symptomatic ailment that causes Him to be in constant pain. Some days are better than others. But sometimes, just resting His arm on me hurts Him.

When we first got together, it didn’t bother Him as much. We cuddled all the time. I’d fall asleep in His lap while watching TV or lay across His legs when we were out picnicking… But over the years, it’s gotten worse.

This is particularly difficult for me because I’m a cuddle bug. It’s not one of those things that if I can’t have it I’m lost. It’s just not easy having to be careful about when I clobber Him with affection.

He realizes it’s hard on me and tries to deal with the pain when He can. Sometimes that means a ten second hug and then back to my side of the couch. Sometimes it means He’s in pain for a while afterward because He wanted to hold me despite the pain. But, more often than not, it means I don’t get the luxury of falling asleep in His arms or wrapping myself around Him to keep warm.

Last night, He fell asleep with His arm draped over me. It didn’t last long. Thirty minutes, tops. Then He woke up and turned over. But while it was there, I was in heaven.

I couldn’t fall asleep. I was too excited to have Him sleeping with His arm around me. I just laid there concentrating on the feel of His relaxed muscles and the weight of His arm pressing me into the mattress. The warmth of His skin and the tickle of His fingers as they twitched against my side. It was so blissful just laying there… until I started feeling guilty about the pain He’d eventually be in.

Are there things your owner does for you that cause him/her discomfort? Things that you could never take for granted because you know how much they bother them?

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