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Think for yourself!

February 3rd, 2009

I’m having oodles of trouble with this concept. Now, don’t get me wrong. Between telling me his way is always right and I could think how I want as long as I *do* things his way, my dad taught me to be a free thinker. Liked us kids to decide who to be and what to eat all by our lonesome. That I get.

It’s when *Master* looks at me and basically says “Think for yourself.” that I’m confused.

In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t make too many decisions by myself. He gives input or outright orders and I’m expected to make decisions based on that.

Back story.

We’re members of the “Public Transportation Users” club now. We sold the hunk of junk that was our Durango (It’s what’s known as a “money pit” lately. Every time we fix it something else breaks.) about a week ago and we’ve been taking buses and picking up little stuff we forget when we’re out from the convenience store across the street. Which means I have been known to make two or three trips across the street depending on the day. I gotta start making lists. Or buy Airheads and Chewy Sprees in bulk.

So the other day, I went across the street to grab cigarettes (They have the cheapest ones in town, oddly enough.), Airheads and sunflower seeds but they were out of Airheads. So, I brought home sunflower seeds and told Him they were out of Airheads.

“Why didn’t you get something else?”

“Cause I wasn’t sure what you wanted.”

“You always get something else. You know what I like.”

There were more comments but they all pretty much meant the same thing. “Think for yourself!”

Another morning, I went to pick us up some coffees from the gas station one building over (They have blueberry! Yumm!) and noticed they had half gallons of orange juice. I’ve been craving orange juice but I didn’t have permission to buy it. When I got home, I mentioned that I wanted orange juice but I was afraid He’d get mad.

He laughed at me! “Orange juice is teh bad!” He says. “No orange juice for you! Orange juice is against the rules!”

I’ve decided I’m taking my cell with me everywhere now that it’s got minutes. Especially the stupid little store across the road. So I can call Him and ask.

But I’ve, since the orange juice incident, started thinking for myself. Last night we ordered dinner and I grabbed two brownies (They are the BOMB! Huge pieces of chocolate and fudge all through them.) for dessert while He waited at home for me. This morning, I went to get my blueberry coffee and picked up some orange juice and egg sandwiches because they’re cheaper there than at Dunkin and pretty tasty, too. And… I didn’t get in trouble! Matter of fact, He was happy I got them.

Are there things in your relationship that require you to “Think for yourself!”? What are they?

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