Archive for January 15th, 2009

Grumpy Bear

January 15th, 2009 Comments off

I don’t know what it is with me in the morning lately. I mean, I’ve never really been a morning person anyway. But lately I wake up hella grumpy and, if I’m lucky, I’m fine by noon.

Ooo… I know! I’ll talk about competition!

So a few days ago, someone on FetLife posted something I feel pretty strongly about. And I almost didn’t respond because I’ve gone off on tirades about it before and only had to listen to submissives whine about how if they behaved the way I believe they should they’d be equivalent to a doormat.  And how they shouldn’t have to respond differently to some “self-proclaimed dom” than they would to anyone else.

If you haven’t guessed by now, the topic of discussion (that got over 500 on and off topic responses) is the way people of the submissive persuasion respond to dominants on forums.

If I’m to be honest, I’d have to say that, really, the way a lot of submissives respond to anyone who disagrees with them on one thing or another drives me nuts. It’s like we’re in some sort of competition to see who can be the biggest bitch. Cause, you know, if you hold a different opinion than I do, you must be the biggest ass hole in the world, right? Cause all the ways around here are my ways and I’m always right!

So I responded. Something about how submissives should be more conscious of their surroundings and shouldn’t be disrespectful to dominants just because they aren’t owned by them. I got the usual responses and I was asked about how dominants should treat submissives they don’t own and how other submissives should treat each other.

While I’m all for “Doms should be nice to us too!” I still say who the hell are we, as submissives, to set that rule? Where do we get off saying “I’m submissive! But you better be nice to me or I’m not gonna be nice to you!!”

And then I explained that I really don’t give a shit how submissives treat each other. I mean, so long as they’re not beating each other to a pulp without their owners’ permission, who cares? We’re a competitive bunch and sometimes competition leads to bickering.

Thus began the competition to prove we’re not competitive. My favorites were the ones who were adamant that they absolutely did not compete with other submissives and they viewed it as deconstructive to their lifestyle, and then would say “I never said I’m not competitive.” or “I never said competition was a bad thing.” That was when I stopped responding. Besides, Kaya was doing a way better job of fighting my battle than I was so I just sat back and watched. 🙂

Being competitive is natural. Survival of the fittest isn’t just something we say to remind ourselves to better ourselves. It’s a way of life in the wild and it was a way of life for us before we invented all this technology to allow the unfit to survive.

But when people hear “competition” the picture that most often comes to mind these days is backbiting, backstabbing, and all out bitchy behavior. I’m not really talking about that competition. I’m talking more about the civil competitions of adding more flourish to your service (online or in real life), being more proactive, trying to be as pleasing as possible. And, personally, I see nothing wrong with it. And I’ve known a few doms who enjoy watching submissives scramble around them trying to be found the most pleasing.

Anyway, Zedd decided he wanted to be out of his cage and I’m having way more fun watching him tear up the cardboard on top of his cage than typing about competition. And I said pretty much all I wanted to say anyway.

*wavies* Have a great day!

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