Archive for December 29th, 2008

My Craving

December 29th, 2008 Comments off

PoetryIconSilent screams inside my head begging for:


Your fingers
trailing down my spine
dancing across my flesh
pinching, tugging, pulling
teasing my nipples to erect, firm pebbles

Your nails
engraving your passion on my flesh

Your hands

Your whip
lashing me into oblivion
kissing my flesh again and again
engraving Your love on my flesh

Your name
The needle darting in and out of my flesh
A trail of color
tracing the appellation of the creature to whom i belong

Your mark
The hot iron
searing into my flesh
permanently branding me on the outside to match the imprint on my heart

My hunger brings tears to my eyes
My thoughts are frantic
Make my flesh match the exquisite pain you’ve etched on my soul
Oh that the awe-inspiring master of me would hear my plea
I beg you
Quench this terrible thirst
Bring to the outside what is driving me insane on the inside

Silent screams inside my head begging for:


Categories: Poetry Tags:

Personal growth, perhaps?

December 29th, 2008 Comments off

So this morning I was a bitch. Royally and without reason. Some would argue that a slave never has reason. Those same people would also argue that PMS is a good enough excuse for not being up to par. And while the monthly beast is just summing itself up, I am not of the mind that PMS is a good enough excuse for not being up to par. Though goodness knows I wish it was sometimes.

I apologized. And then I sat on the couch trying to figure out what the hell happened to me. More often than not, lately, I’ve been waking up in the perfect mood to kill. Haven’t killed anyone… yet… but I’ve definitely been prepared should I have to. (And that’s a joke, just in case there’s some crazed cop with no sense of humor perusing the site.)

Master sometimes mentions that when I realize I screw up I should go get whatever He’s consistently using to punish me with and bring it to Him. He says I should just shut up (I tend to make excuses till I’m blue in the face.), show that I know I’m wrong and take my punishment. Anyone who knows me knows it’s next to impossible for me to admit I’m wrong. Even when it’s in black and white in front of my face.

This morning, I found myself yelling in my head, “Just go get the damn paddle. You know you fucked up. I don’t know why you keep waking up in a bad mood but it’s sure as hell not His fault.” “And admit that I’m wrong?” “You are wrong! Stop being so damned stubborn and get the paddle.” And then my “Admit that I’m wrong?” self responded with, “In a minute.”

In a minute? What’s up with that? So my pissed off self kicked my “In a minute.” self in the ass and I got up and walked to the bedroom.

It’s weird how my “In a minute.” self didn’t say one single word after the moment I made the decision to ignore her. No “What are we doing??” or “This is stupid.” Just sat silently by and watched me pull the paddle out of the trunk, walk to His desk and kneel quietly beside Him.

I think I expected fanfare. *cue trumpets* “Congratulations, rayne! By taking initiative and showing you know you fucked up, you’ve just won first prize! Lots of praise and happiness from your owner!”

That’s when little miss “Go get the fucking paddle!” kicked me in the ass again and said “Since when do you do this shit for praise? If you’re doing this for praise, you’re in it deep.”  Read more…

Categories: Rayne Tags: