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Just Curious…

September 6th, 2008

So I’m just wondering…

Occasionally you hear people talking about how a relationship, even a M/s one, is a two way street and both parties must have their needs met and so on and so forth. I hear submissives talk about how they will move on without question if it becomes obvious that their needs are never going to be met by this particular dom. Often someone will say, “Who, honestly, will remain in an unhappy relationship simply because they are owned?”or “Let’s face it. There’s always an out and, if you’re unhappy enough, you’ll take it.”

I listen to the snide comments (aimed at other people… I shy away from this discussion usually) of, “You say you’re a real slave because you won’t leave unless given permission but when it comes right down to it you’ll tuck tail and run just like the rest of us.” and “Slave doesn’t mean doormat.” and so on. I frown when it comes out of the mouths of those who say “I could never leave my master! Besides, it isn’t permitted!”

Here’s the thing: I’m a masochist because I want pain. I’m a slave because He wants to own me.

I won’t try to be all noble and say I don’t enjoy being a slave most of the time. I won’t pretend that it hasn’t become increasingly obvious, day in and day out, despite my mistakes, that this is what I was meant to be. I won’t act like I don’t get something out of it. I do.

But I didn’t do it for me. I did it for Him.

He probably doesn’t remember this. One day we were sitting in His office, both on #submission on DalNet, talking to other submissives, when suddenly someone asked me if I was a submissive or a slave. I’d done a lot of research by then. I knew what the difference was according to the various websites I’d read and I knew what the difference was according to Master. But I really didn’t know which word applied to me. And I didn’t feel like it was my choice to make. It was His.

I looked at Him and I said, “What am I?”

He said, “What do you want to be?” and I decided that I didn’t want to make that decision. That I wanted Him to choose which way our relationship was going to go. I felt it only natural for Him to lead and me to follow.

I responded, “Whatever you want me to be.”

“I want you to be a slave. I want to own you completely.”

I typed back to the person asking, “I am a slave.” And that was that. The decision was made.

I wasn’t sure I could live up to it. Only that I would try my hardest to be everything He wanted me to be. It’s my firm belief that that is all anyone can ask from someone. That they do their best to honor their promises.

I was of the understanding from the start that, while I have wants, needs, thoughts, emotions, all of those are irrelevant unless He chooses to acknowlege them. And they’re all subject to change should He so choose. I promised to stay no matter what and then, eventually, I lost the ability to leave.

I can say without a doubt that I wouldn’t leave if my needs weren’t being met or if I was unhappy. It’s not my choice. I don’t have that right or ability. And this really is all about Him.

I feel like I’m seriously in the minority. So I’m wondering…

What about you? Would you leave if your needs weren’t being met? Why or why not? Do you feel justified in your answer?

And what about the dominants? Does your submissive have the right to leave if they’re unhappy? Or if their needs aren’t being met? And how do you feel about that?

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