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“My friends are my estate.”

August 14th, 2008

Not really… I just needed a title and liked that quote.

The other day Master said to me “It’s like you’ve forgotten everything I taught you.”

Immediately, I started making associations (in my mind… can’t put ideas in His head, you know?) between the change in my behavior and the job. But in reality, these changes have been there since before I took on a management position. I’ve not gotten better or worse since then. I’ve just sort of hung in limbo.

Yesterday, Master asked why I’ve been so pissy lately, though. And that is directly related to my job. I’m stressed out and exhausted. I’ve been working for twelve days straight. But I’m off tomorrow and Saturday so I’m hoping that will allow me to breathe and get my head on straight.

I’m beat. I mean really tired. I started falling asleep at 3:30pm yesterday afternoon. Tonight might end up being an early night too. Not because I want it to be. But because I’m so friggin’ tired. “Bone weary” doesn’t do it justice. But tomorrow!

Master’s slowly getting used to one of the girls I hang out with from work. He’s been allowing me to have her over and just chill out. We go places together (with Master) and such. And she knows about our relationship. I’m not sure how much she understands but she knows I’m a slave. Whether or not she knows what that means to us, I don’t know. But she does know that I don’t do anything without getting Master’s permission first. She’s always saying “Would He mind if…”

Friends that aren’t slaves I met online is a weird concept for me. Since we moved from where Master met me I’ve had none. Intentionally. Less distractions and less hurt feelings when I can’t always go places. Less of a chance that Master will decide they’re not good for me and tell me I can’t talk to them anymore. Just easier all around. And really, this friendship happened by accident. But I’m enjoying it while it lasts.

Unfortunately, with friendships come drama. And this girl has a ton of it. And I’m trying to stay out of it, but part of it is directly related to her friendship with me so it’s not always easy. So far it hasn’t caused any problems for Master and me. I hope it never does. Because that’ll be one of those “She’s not good for you.” situations.

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