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Not the Mama

July 21st, 2008

I don’t save people. It’s not something I do.

I used to try. I used to make a damn good attempt to save people from danger, other people, themselves, venomous snakes, rabid or vicious animals or just plain bad situations. I used to repeat myself repeatedly (*snicker*) to try and make them see what they were getting themselves into. I’d scream and yell and flail my arms to be met with… complete and total complacency. The people I was trying to save were happy with their decision to face the danger, whatever it was, head on regardless of the possible consequences.

So I stopped saving people. I was wasting my time and they weren’t learning anything. Sharing my knowledge in this way was a complete and total waste. For me, for them, and for everyone involved.

Instead, I now express my opinion, talk about how I’d do things differently, avoid sticky situations with the hope that people following me or walking with me will go around them as well and I give advice. But once it’s out of my mouth (or fingers, as the case may be) it’s out of my hands and I let it go. And if someone reading is stupid enough to take everything I say at face value without finding out if there is more involved that I didn’t feel important enough to include and apply it to their own way of life and finds it doesn’t work for them I don’t blame myself. I don’t hold it against myself. I lay blame where it’s due. And I don’t feel it belongs at my feet.

I’m not in this for anyone else. Granted, I say this site is to give people an inside look at a real 24/7 Master/slave relationship. Granted, I say I hope it helps someone see what it’s really like and not what people think it’s like. But the fact remains that I post here because Master tells me to.

Submissives should really know themselves before they try to walk in my shoes. That’s not to say that I’m this amazing, incredible slave who everyone should strive to be like or anything retarded like that. But it is to say that my (our) way of life isn’t for everyone and submissives should be one hundred percent certain this is what they want before they climb inside. They shouldn’t expect the one they submit to to be standing watch with the key at the ready in case they should change their mind. Because in this household – and I’m sure there are others like it – that will never happen. That’s what high school was for. To teach us who we are.

Submissives should have at least a bit of intelligence and some common sense. They should know what they’re getting into. Period. The risks. The dangers. The possibilities, good or bad. Especially if they’re meeting their new domly interest anywhere but a public place with lots of people they know and trust (the same goes for dom/mes). They should know enough to understand the dangers of meeting any stranger anywhere without the proper protections in place. That’s what Mommy and Daddy were for. To teach us to be cautious in dangerous situations.

Submissives should have a sense of responsibility. They should know when they’re wrong and have enough gumption to admit it. That’s why when we grow up we move away from Mommy and Daddy. Because we believe that as adults we’re responsible enough to take care of ourselves. Taking responsibility for our own stupidity is part of that.

I’ve heard people equate D/s dating with vanilla dating and on some levels they are equal. As I said in a comment earlier, anyone has the ability to become a serial killer if pushed the right way. Whips and chains don’t have to be involved for the weaker of a new couple (for lack of a better description) to be in very real danger. However, in D/s dating, whips and chains are involved. Among other things. And anyone stupid enough to take that lightly is just that: Stupid.

Survival of the fittest, though it’s being killed on a regular basis with our constant lifting of the little man, is a very real concept. Not only in the animal kingdom (which I’m constantly reminding people we belong to) but also in the human world. And it drives me crazy when I see people say things like “I hope you feel like shit when some newbie takes your advice and ends up getting hurt.” Especially when the person saying it obviously only read what they wanted to hear and not what the OP was saying.

I’m not going to spend every precious moment I have going over my entries any more than I already do. I won’t be explaining every bit of advice I give or scene I relay or belief I speak on. I’m not going to pick apart every tiny detail of every tiny thought in my head to make sure that no one could possibly misunderstand what I say, take it to extremes and get themselves killed. If they get themselves hurt or killed by following my blog without actually listening to what I say or asking if there was more involved that I left out or deciding for themselves whether or not it’s something they can do/handle/be/whathaveyou that’s their own stupidity.

I blame survival of the fittest. And because I researched things that could happen in a D/s relationship and figured out who I am and what I can handle and made it my business to find out who Master is and, to some extent – I’m not psychic – what He’ll dish out I’m fit to survive a D/s relationship. I will not hold myself responsible for someone who is not and tries anyway. And neither should anyone else.

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