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Just Under the Wire

April 5th, 2008

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about this since then. There are so many things I love about getting this kind of unexpected attention. It always brightens my day and puts me in a more grounded mental place. I think the fastest way to make me feel cared for is to beat me. I think this is in the same category as some people put getting flowers or other gifts for no reason. It always feels more meaningful when it comes out of nowhere. Kinky Little Girl

I just started reading this new (to me) blog. I think what drew me to it was the “Little Girl” part. I miss that. Being called “Little Girl”. And once upon a time it would have pissed me off. But these days… hearing it roll off Master’s tongue is like music to my ears.

When I read this, something clicked. When I read this, I was hooked.

That’s me. That’s me exactly. And you can substitute any number of words for “beat”. I think the fastest way for Master to make me feel cared for is to play with, fuck, punish, discipline, beat me. It’s amazing. I go from feeling detached and unwanted to curling up around His feet in seconds flat. And when I try to hold back… when I do that silly, “I’m going to stay mad this time! I will win this round!” that we women tend to do, He can melt the steel walls I’m rapidly building before the first one’s fully up. I guess that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

It makes my heart flutter. He makes my heart flutter.

I whine too much. I need to stop that. Because I whine even when I like things. I think I’ve just gotten so used to whining I’m afraid of what’ll happen if I stop. I know what’ll happen if I don’t. He’ll eventually believe me and give up. I’m really not interested in what that might be like.

I’m sorry I whine so much.

I know the transition sucks. You gotta be me to understand.

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