Archive for April, 2008

Sorting Things Out

April 29th, 2008 Comments off

I won’t be working much longer, a fact that I am ecstatic about. We’ve figured out a way for me to not have to work after the next couple of months without me having to go back on medication and disability. And the job is becoming entirely too much for me. Fiftyish hours a week makes it increasingly more difficult for me to function on a day to day basis as a slave. I leave before Master gets up and by the time I get home from a thirteen hour stint, I’m too tired to keep my eyes open for more than a couple hours, let alone gracefully accept a beating or happily make dinner… after making breakfast, lunch and dinner for forty people. It’s really sort of sad. I used to love cooking.

And they’re making it worse. They’re already bitching about the amount of overtime T and I are raking in but they’ve just caused us a shit load more work. So when I’m there till 7:30-8:00 every night and the main office starts asking why I’ll just smile and direct them to N and C.

In any case, the job going away is probably the best thing that could happen to us. I’ll finally be able to concentrate fully on the things I should be concentrating on.

Last Sunday and Monday were probably the clinchers even though the only part work played in that was me being extremely overtired. My emotional breakdown was entirely too much for me to handle and more than Master had time to deal with. But He pushed everything on His plate aside and stepped up to walk me through it without giving me the slightest impression that I was inconveniencing Him. And when it still wasn’t resolved (because I didn’t completely lay everything on the table) and I started to fall apart again this past Sunday, He stepped up again and took me down another path.  Read more…

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April 25th, 2008 No comments
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Random (but connected) Rambling

April 25th, 2008 No comments

Had a shit day at work and I’m utterly burnt out. “Eight more hours and then I have five days off.” is the mantra playing over and over in my head but, after 94 hours with only one day off, five days seems like too small a prize. I know one thing for sure. Minimum wage employees should not be made to miss their scheduled lunch to chase around inspectors while the administrator sits on her ass in the office. ::nods emphatically:: Master’s threatened to make me quit twice today. I’ve seriously considered begging Him to.

This, too, shall pass.

The days are slipping by like wildfire. I can’t believe it’s already the end of April.

I don’t really have much to talk about today. I’ve been slacking in my fodder gathering. I suppose I could talk about the beating I got the other day. I always feel like there really isn’t much to tell or I don’t tell the story well enough or something lol

I didn’t take a single minute of it with grace. I was crying while I was putting the suspension cuffs on. I cried while He hooked the clips to the rings over the closet door. I cried when He stuffed the gag (not the burning one, though!) in my mouth. You’d think I didn’t like these things.

He started with the kangaroo flogger which is usually my favorite but I was already so convinced it was going to be way worse than I could handle that I had completely psyched myself out. I just wasn’t in a good place mentally or emotionally by that point.

He switched twice. I think once was to the heavier flogger that He made Himself and then to the knotty cat. Oddly enough, at first I was almost enjoying the knotty cat (I don’t usually. I’m all about thump and that thing stings like a motherfucker.). I had even almost pulled myself out of my funk (I typed fuck at first.), which is next to impossible when my emotional state is already that far gone. Till He changed His technique! And then I was right back where I started.

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Fag Bug

April 23rd, 2008 No comments

Okay so I know the title sounds offensive, but read the stories.
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Interesting IMs

April 23rd, 2008 No comments

Things are a little crazy around here these days. And people are confusing the fuck out of me. Messaging me with things suggesting that I implied some where that Master doesn’t “understand the responsibilities of being a master” and I’m looking for someone else.

I’m not offended. I’m not poking fun and I’m not calling them out. Read: Please don’t leave an angry comment because right now no one knows who you are but if you comment they will.

I’m actually kind of flattered that someone thinks I’m that kick-ass of a slave that they want me enough to try to steal me from my owner. I think they’re wrong! But who am I to judge that besides a typical self-conscious woman with self-esteem problems? And I’m confused.

I’m confused because I don’t air our dirty laundry anywhere else but here and even then it’s often vague. I don’t keep our issues close to the breast because I’m a private person. I mean… I have a blog on the internet! How private of a person can I be? It’s more often that I can’t really explain myself well or I’m embarrassed by my actions or… Okay it’s because I’m a stuffer. There. You happy? Damn. :oP But I don’t remember ever saying that Master is irresponsible. Perpetually late. A procrastinator. Downright frustrating at times. Not irresponsible.

I’m also confused because I asked twice (Being serious! And said specifically that I was seriously asking because I was confused!) where they got the idea that I was looking for someone else or that Master was irresponsible and they didn’t answer the question. Instead they explained to me why they feel they are a good master for me.

So… a serious question. Do I make it sound like Master doesn’t know what He’s doing? Or that He’s irresponsible? And more importantly, do I give the impression that I’m looking for someone else? Because none of these things are true. They couldn’t be farther from the truth.

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Helpful Hints for New Masters

April 20th, 2008 Comments off

Occasionally I do browse around some of the BDSM sites out there, when I actually have time to dedicate to it. I’m constantly amazed at the level (or lack, thereof) of intelligence that is rampant on some of the larger forums. It simply boggles my mind. I thought I’d be a Nice Guy{tm} and post some helpful hints for new Masters, or those that may not be specifically new.

If your goal is to find, collar and keep a slave, here are some helpful suggestions to do that:

1) When typing into a forum post (or IM window, etc), attempt to spell at least 70% of the words you use correctly. This means, also, do not use “text message shorthand” when trolling for slave meat. I don’t know about the rest of you, but when I read something such as “r u lkng 4 a xpriencd Mstr?”, I have a good chuckle. Regardless of your opinion of women, none of them want to become the “slave owned by the Moron” (with a capital M, of course). I’m not perfect in my spelling, either, but I do make an attempt. Why? Because words are how we communicate, and if it takes someone a half hour to decipher your jumble of words, it’s just not worth it.

2) Make some attempt at being grammatically correct. This means, also, to use punctuation where it’s supposed to be used and capitalize proper nouns, the beginning of sentences, etc… I’m amazed at the lack of self control most “Masters” exhibit when they are putting forth public communication. I’m not really speaking of hot IM sex (errr), but when you’re posting on a public forum why wouldn’t you want to put your “best foot forward”? Is it your intention that everyone assume you have an IQ lower than a common hamster? By all means, if that’s your goal, continue making no attempt to show the world (and possible slaves) that you have a brain. Once again, why would a slave give someone that’s an idiot 100% control over their lives? It just doesn’t make sense. Read more…