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Stereotypical Women

March 31st, 2008

I know I’m always talking about kaya. Kaya this and kaya that and… If I’m to be honest, I have to say when my schedule is so tight that I really can only read a couple of blogs, hers is the first I go to. Mainly because she often seems to parrot back things that are floating around in my own head.

She’s been debating something that… well, the response really pisses me off and I really hate the fact that people are always making her feel like she has to defend her opinions. Sometimes I get bummed out by the fact that we don’t get very many comments, but the more I watch her comment section (which I used to ignore for this very reason) the happier I am that we don’t. People… are ridiculous.

I stole the questions month idea from kaya (Have I said that yet? I forget.) and one of the questions she was asked is, “How do you feel about having a female president?” (There was probably more to it… damn her readers are long-winded!) As usual, she basically said, word for word, how I feel (I swear we have the same brain… most of the time), after joking about PMS causing a monthly war. The response was wholly disheartening. You can’t even have an opinion anymore without being battered to smithereens over it.

The thing, however, that irritated me the most and made me decide to dedicate a post to it instead of continuing the war I wanted to wage on her page was the person blaming kaya and people like her (iow, me, though I’m sure the person has no idea who I even am) for the misogynistic males they deal with in their day to day life. She (the commenter) said that if it wasn’t for people like us she wouldn’t have to constantly deal with people choosing to deal with her husband (who is also her business partner) over her at work even though he constantly tells them that she is the expert in the areas they’re asking about.

To that, I say, “Honey… that’s your hang up.” If people are taking you as anything less than a strong, confident, intelligent woman, maybe you’re the cause. Not some chick on a blog that they’ve probably never read. Show them that you’re a strong, confident, intelligent woman and they’ll treat you as such. Or take their business elsewhere. But hey… if they want to deal with the stereotypical woman instead, that’s their choice, eh?

I don’t know what kind of business she runs. I’m not sure it makes much difference though. A customer is a customer is a customer. And they all respond to the same things. Confidence in yourself and your product, knowledge of your product, and treating them as if they’re on your level (when it comes to what you’re selling) even if they’re no where close.

While women tend to have self-esteem issues and are rather self-conscious, most men ooze confidence. And if they don’t, they’re good at pretending they do. It’s trained in them by society. Men can’t feel. They can’t be emotional. They have to be a brick wall to hold up their weaker, less intelligent women. This is a long-practiced stereotype and it’s not one that’s going to be proven wrong by feminist women whining that those of us who choose to submit and choose to acknowledge that, generally speaking, men are stronger and better equipped to lead are pushing back women’s lib 50 years.

People in general should be intelligent enough to understand that one person’s opinion is not big enough, no matter where they share it or with whom, to change the entire world. Otherwise, the feminists would have long since been locked up in chains and beaten until they changed their tune. Or the submissives would have long since been slapped into stuffy gray business suits and made to sit behind a desk until they learned how to survive as leaders instead of followers. Whichever has a stronger following, I imagine.

The thing the feminists seem to have forgotten, or have chosen to ignore, is women’s lib was originally about choice. Women were forced into the “in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant” role in the beginning and they got tired of it and wanted a choice. They didn’t, couldn’t, and wouldn’t say that all women had to be go getters and jump on the corporate band wagon and become power hungry executives. They simply said they wanted that option. They wanted to be able to choose.

In giving them that option, men also gave them the option to remain where they were. To continue to be stay-at-home moms and have their only job outside the home be a minor position on the PTA (under that stay-at-home dad who always seems to have everything under control) and * gasp * submit to their husbands. I choose the latter. Kaya chooses the latter. And, seriously, if you can’t even get down with allowing people to live and believe how they want, then what the hell are you reading for?

And how dare you say it’s okay for you to choose to jump on the corporate bandwagon and be that go getter but I can’t choose not to because it makes your life difficult. You jumping on the corporate bandwagon makes my life difficult. It makes it harder for me to be comfortable with who I am because there’s this new image of strong, independent women that I’m supposed to be following, according to society, that I really have no interest in

As for the men who treat you like you don’t know what you’re talking about? Chances are some of them had their first dealings with your husband and it really has nothing to do with the fact that you’re a woman but rather the fact that he made the first impression of your company, not you.

And the ones that are misogynists? That’s just who they are. People like kaya and I have nothing to do with the opinion of some obscure jackass you deal with. More likely than not, they’ve never even paid much attention to us women who get our cranks turned by submitting to our men. More likely than not, they were brought up by misogynist fathers and submissive mothers too weak to try to steer them in another direction. Lay blame where it’s due. Not at the feet of women who chose to stick with the “submissive female” stereotype instead of following you down the path of the raging feminist.

Not many submissives I know believe women are “useless bags of protoplasm that have no right to do anything but be cunts”. As a matter of fact, many believe the exact opposite. Being weaker, submissive in nature, and less equipped to lead does not equal useless. I have plenty of uses.

I’m an excellent cook. I have an amazing ability to empathize with people. I’m good at diffusing volatile situations that I’m not involved in. I do a damn good job of cleaning when I’m not in a hurry… my house, friends’ houses, at my job, etc. I’m pretty good with kids. I’m really good at figuring out how to make individual people happy. I’m pretty good at teaching people my skills. I’m good at research (when I can get into it… damn adult ADD anyway) and even better at churning out information, written or spoken, once I’ve learned it. I’ve been known to sell oceanfront property in Arizona (and yes, that was a saying before it was a song). I’m a fairly decent writer, fiction and otherwise. I supplement Master’s income with my own. I am a wall for Him to bounce things off of, be it venting anger or playing with ideas in His head. I’m a confidant. I’m His secretary, personal assistant, nanny, nurse, fuck toy… And while most of these things are qualities stereotypical of women, I’m proud of my uses.

And you know what? Being a stereotypical woman isn’t so bad. It’s awesome having the confidence in my own ability to be comfortable being just me and not trying to live up to some crazy image of the new and improved woman that society’s trying to build.

I personally see nothing wrong with who I am. Who kaya is. Who thousands of other women are. I almost said I’m sorry you do. But you know what? I’m not. That’s your hang up.

Women’s lib was never about doing away with submission altogether. It was about women having a choice. And submissive != useless. Quite the opposite.

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