Archive for December 27th, 2007

Make Up Blog?

December 27th, 2007 No comments

It’s like make up homework, only it’s for Master, not school. Though, He did tell me to skip my blog altogether on Saturday and was more interested in playing WoW than me doing my daily tasks on Christmas. So I guess technically I don’t have to make up anything. We’ll ignore the fact that today is a normal blog day 😛

Master’s started a new approach to training me. I feel sort of like one of those rats in the maze. Run up the right track and find the entrance with only a slight shock at the end. Run up the wrong track and find the buzzer that shocks the shit out of you. Why, you ask?

We’re back to nightly beatings, only the base number is five. And even though I’ve only had to have more than the base number once since it started, I dread it. Because though He said “With what I want, how I want.” it’s been the cane every night. And He makes sure I feel it.

What I’m supposed to take away from this is that I’m a slave and He will do what He wishes to me for whatever reason, even just because it pleases Him. Have you ever just wanted to scream, “I already know that!!!”

Sure. I know it. In theory. In theory, I can recite to you damn near every basic rule of slavery that the general BDSM population agrees on, and a few that almost no one agrees with but are standard practice in this household. But have I internalized them? Probably not. Knowing them and accepting and understanding them are two totally different things.

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