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Subspace Restriction?

December 13th, 2007

I don’t have a whole heck of a lot to say about the subject I want to talk about. And it really has nothing to do with me. More likely than not, I’ll never be in this position. But that’s never stopped me before!

I read a thread written by a woman (and if you read me, please don’t take offense) who is in a vanilla marriage but her husband lets her play with dominant partners outside of the relationship. She’s apparently fairly new at BDSM and is still researching the ins and outs and recently did some reading on subspace. When she brought subspace up to her husband, he said, “Absolutely not.”

This is confusing to me. From what I’ve read about subspace, it’s not a controllable thing. It either happens or it doesn’t and the only real way to control it is to find what sorts of things bring it on and try to do the same things to bring about the same response. I understand his reasons. He doesn’t want her to be completely vulnerable and find herself in a volatile situation. But if subspace really is an involuntary reaction, then, from where I sit, he might as well tell her not to breathe.

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