Okay so I know I started that other blog and I really will finish it when I get home from work tonight. I just am reading kaya’s post while I’m on lunch (not eating… bad slave. I’ll probably grab a yogurt when I get back to work) waiting to see if Master’s going to be able to pop in and say hello (online) before I have to go back (shit… in 10 minutes! Where does the time go?) and I got thinking. Holy run on sentence, batman!

So I was thinking. I, like kaya, also have weird odor issues. I hate it when things stink. Master’s house, my body, the trashcan, my clothes, my breath, what have you. It is embarrassing to no end. I won’t go somewhere if the smell is less than pleasant on a semi-regular basis. I won’t use a public restroom if I’m doing more than just urinating and I can wait. I just can’t do it. My job is killing me because we have a handful of residents that refuse to shower. And I avoid the first floor as much as humanly possible when we’re down a housekeeper because it always smells like urine.

So I was thinking. With my ex, I just stopped caring. So long as we were home I didn’t care. He wanted to fuck and I hadn’t showered? Oh well. If he kissed me and I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet? Oh well. Out of deodorant, not going anywhere and no one coming over? His problem.

With Master, on the other hand, I am increasingly aware of odors. I shower daily. I didn’t before I met Him… 2-3 times a week, maybe? Unless I was going somewhere. I just didn’t care. If He allows it, I buy gum and/or mints. I brush my teeth 2-3 times a day. I wash my hair if it even has a hint of that fresh out of bed odor even though that doesn’t really stink, it just bothers me. If Master says something smells even slightly off I’m almost immediately searching for the culprit and cleaning it. Laundry gets done daily. Towels are washed a couple times a week (speaking of which, they’re due – note to self).

I should have noticed that I was way too comfortable with the ex at my worst long before I finally ditched the lousy fuck (I mean that both figuratively and literally). And I wonder if I’ll ever get more comfortable with Master seeing me at my worst. And should I? I mean, isn’t it a good thing that I want to be at my best for Him? Shouldn’t I always? Anyway… I was just thinking.