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Archive for November, 2007

Sexy Morning

November 30th, 2007 No comments

An excerpt from last night’s journal entry:

The day started awesome. I woke up a few minutes early so I got up, did a few dishes and took the trash out. Then I came in and peeked in on Master to see if He was awake. He was laying with His back to me and I was overcome with this need to touch and taste. I wanted to press against Him and lick and kiss.

I snuggled my body against His and pushed the blankets off. And I began to run my tongue along the flesh of His back. I worked around His shoulder and along the side of His throat. Tasting the warm, smoky scent of sleep sweat in my wide awake nostrils.

I gently dragged my fingernails along His sloped side and up His spit-slick spine. My tongue danced as my lips tickled over the thin, dark, curled patches of hair resting at the base of His shoulder blades.

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Painfully Honest

November 29th, 2007 No comments

Time and again it’s proven to me just how much the “I’m a real [something] and you’re not.” attitude gets to me. I think it’s the “I’m better than you.” undertone it carries. There’s nothing that gets my hackles up more than hearing that someone else is better than me from their own mouths. Well, another female anyway.

Don’t misunderstand. I know there are people who are better than me at the things I do. Even if I haven’t met them yet (though in most cases, I have). I’m not so arrogant and deluded that I believe I’m the best at everything. I could tick off a dozen things I do and point out someone who is better than me at it. But that doesn’t make them a better person than me. And that doesn’t make their existence more worthy than mine. And that doesn’t mean that their opinions are more important and more founded than mine are. More established does not mean infallible.

As I make my way through the end of my twenty-seventh year in life, I’m finding more and more flaws with myself, both related to my slavery and not. And as I look back over the years, I notice things that I said or did that, had it come from someone else aimed at me, would have infuriated me. Even then. When I was doing it myself.

People say things to me, point out flaws, show me where I’m wrong and now, instead of being offended, I get all sorts of apologetic and depressed. I see that as growth. Now to get passed the arrogance that makes me think If they don’t like it they can fuck off. instead of How can I change this so I’m less offensive?

And yet I still find myself being a judgmental ass. I see myself looking at other females, submissive or not, and listening to the things they say and watching the things they do and thinking “Well at least I don’t do that anymore.” and “Thank god I’m not like her.”

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Punishment vs. None

November 27th, 2007 Comments off

There’s a thread on bondage.com about spanking for punishment vs. spanking for fun and the responses sort of amazed me. There was more than one person who responded almost offended because people punish their submissives. And more than one person said they (or their respective submissive) are too old to be punished. That just struck me as bizarre.

People of all ages are punished all the time for any number of reasons. The government punishes you when you break the law, even for something as small as a turn signal being out. Your job punishes you if you don’t perform to their standards. Significant others punish you for hurting their feelings or going against the unwritten rules of relationship behavior. Everyone punishes someone for one reason or another. Even if it’s something small and insignificant. Even if the punishment goes unnoticed. It’s still usually there.

I’m not too old to be punished. When I step out of line by anyone’s standards I expect to be punished. While I wouldn’t allow some stranger off the street take a whip to my backside for accidentally stepping on his toe (unless Master ordered me to, of course), I would still expect to get a heated retort or something of the sort. Whether we acknowledge it or not, that’s one of our many ways of punishing people we don’t know. By being mean or rude to them when they’ve wronged us somehow.

For example, once, recently, when strolling through an unnamed chain store I unwittingly wandered into the same space another patron wanted to occupy. Before I could say, “”Excuse me. I’m sorry,” which is my way, he opened his eyes wide and sarcastically said, ““OH, I’m sorry! Was I in your way?”” To punish me for getting in the way he was sarcastic. To punish him for being sarcastic, I withheld my apology. Read more…

Happy Thanksgiving!

November 22nd, 2007 No comments

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Love and kisses to you all.
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Thanksgiving Rant

November 21st, 2007 No comments

The other day, when talking with a coworker, I mentioned that my parents are planning to come up for our Thanksgiving celebration. This woman (not exactly a Bible thumper herself) says, “But I thought you were Pagan.”

I gaped at the ignorance of her comment and just shook my head. How can a born and bred American citizen come up not knowing what Thanksgiving is truly about?

Thanksgiving is not a religious holiday. At least not from where I sit. When I was growing up and being taught about Thanksgiving, it was a secular school that taught me, not the church. I learned about it from a secular history book, not the Bible. And not once in my history book did it mention the Christian god pertaining to Thanksgiving.

The American version of [[Thanksgiving]] is a celebration that originated with the Native Americans and the British colonists who sat down together in peace to thank their respective deities and each other for the blessings they’d received and for each other. Native Americans, at the time, according to history had no clue who Christ or the Christian god were. Eventually, that changed. But the first Thanksgiving dinner had nothing to do with religion, race or creed. It was one moment in history where everyone was truly equal at the table no matter who they were.

Thanksgiving is a patriotic holiday in my eyes. A family holiday. A time for us to get together and celebrate each other. To celebrate all the things we’ve been given in life, whether we believe some deity gave us those things or we worked hard for them. Thanksgiving is everyone’s holiday. That’s why I love it so much.

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Releasing Oneself?

November 20th, 2007 Comments off

The main reason I go to other blogs and forums and such is to associate with people who have similar views to Master’s and mine. I assume this is the main reason most of us do it. However, a close running second is to find fodder for blog entries of my own. We recently had a doozy on one of the forums we frequent.

A slave wrote a long, whiny (from my perspective) post, most of which was copy/pasted emails from her owner. She wasn’t happy with the order she had received to whore herself in local bars, and decided to “release herself” from his ownership by refusing to respond to his messages. She went on to question the man’s domliness, and to publicly ridicule him on the forum. She also called on the members of the website to stop associating with him, in essence asking for him to be banned.

I scoffed. I fumed. And I promptly responded. Did you really think I’d keep my big mouth shut on that one? ::laughs:: Read more…

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