Archive for October 13th, 2007

Gagged and Beaten

October 13th, 2007 No comments

Yesterday was decidedly not good. My shoulders, back and ass all agree. Being mouthy is a punishable offense and if I’m never punished again it’ll be too soon. I could give you a million excuses: depression, anxiety, not getting my way (yes, I know everything wrong with that statement), etc. But what it comes down to, really, is I made absolutely no effort whatsoever to hold my tongue.

He hung me up, gagged me and beat me. How long’s it been since I’ve had to say that? Even one of my favorite floggers lost cool points. If they’re yummy enough to make me all squishy, they should absolutely not be capable of the kind of pain I felt yesterday! I’ll never look at it quite the same as I did before.

I’m not sure what broke the camel’s back. I’d be lying if I said I knew. But when Master suggested putting my head through the truck’s window (something He has yet to do and I doubt He ever would – car windows cost too much :P) as a viable option to get my attention, I realized I was a little out of hand. However, I’m not sure I stopped there. Or I did, but I must’ve started again as soon as we got out of the truck. Because He seemed to just get more and more angry the more I spoke to Him.

Actually, now that I think about it, I think the last straw was when I threw paper at Him. Paper on which was written a list of things I need for the trip to Florida. I can explain my reason but there is no excuse for that no matter how frustrated I was. The anger, anxiety and depression I was feeling had nothing to do with Him and I shouldn’t have aimed it at Him.

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