First things first. I made up a poll (the first of a series
Iâ??ll be putting up in the near future) and I ask that you guys please, please
respond to it. Iâ??m attempting to get Master interested in getting RSS set up
here. One of the hardest things, being a slave, is not having the right to say
â??Hey, You! Yeah, You! Big man! Get your butt in here and do this for me!â? Okay
thatâ??s not true. Even if I was free, I wouldnâ??t ask like that (unless I was
honest to gods joking). But it is hard for me, sometimes, wanting so much to
have something, knowing that the only way to get it is through Master, and
having absolutely no bargaining chips! Although I suppose I have one. Behaving
usually gets me some things I want. Little rewards when I go above and beyond.

And without further ado, Iâ??ll stop babbling and give you
your post. Okay so maybe I wonâ??t stop babbling. But Iâ??ll give you your post in
any case.

Reading this post from puss (that totally describes how I
feel as if she plucked it right from my brain) left me feeling rather guilty. I
know that wasnâ??t the intention but it got me thinking about the way I usually
handle not getting the things I need/want. I wheedle and prod. I whine and
bitch. And I throw tantrums. Then I justâ?¦ shut up. I donâ??t mean I stop doing
all those things. Iâ??m still wheedling and prodding, whining and bitchingâ?¦ But
Iâ??ve figured out that doing all these things only makes Him uninterested in
doing the things Iâ??d like Him to want to do to/for me. So I change the subject.

Instead of whining about wanting a spanking, I cop an
attitude about the things He demands I do for Him. â??Start dinner.â? And you can
bet that immediately followed by that is a cabinet door slamming. â??Suck my
cock.â? And Iâ??m pouting the whole time, still doing my best but making it
obvious Iâ??m annoyed. Told you Iâ??m far from perfect 🙂

I could think of any number of things youâ??re thinking right
now. â??Not very slavelike.â? is probably among them. And you would be right. Itâ??s
not very slavelike. I could whine about how I have needs too, but the fact of
the matter is my needs are met. Iâ??m fed regularly, generally allowed to have
something to drink whenever I want, I have clothes and shelter, I breathe easily
and unrestrained (most of the time) and Iâ??m allowed to go to the bathroom when
I need to – so long as thereâ??s not something pressing that has to be done first
and thereâ??s a bathroom available (and when thereâ??s not a bathroom available, I
can squat behind a tree if I want so long as thereâ??s no one in the immediate
area). Beyond those, anything else is glorified wanting. Iâ??m intelligent enough
to recognize that.

But what about the attitude changes? Emotional upheaval?
Flat out frustration? So far as I can tell (from research, not personal
experience), there are no long term effects, except perhaps lower libido, in
being constantly refused sexual stimulation. Foreplay, regardless of what that
means to you, is not a requirement. Adrenaline junkies, like me, will not die
without their daily dose of endorphin highs. Get pissy? Sure. Go through
dramatic mood swings and emotional changes? Definitely. Die? Not a chance.

Iâ??m not real sure where Iâ??m going with this. And I know Iâ??m
completely off of the point puss was making. But these are the thoughts the
post stimulated after the â??I know what you mean!â? thought.

I guess in the long run it doesnâ??t make much difference how
I react. I get what I get and I had better learn to be happy with it. Am I the
only one who has such trouble with this?

And! These thoughts led to all sorts of other thoughts that
Iâ??m not quite sure how to express. Iâ??ll figure it out.

On another note, Iâ??ve recently noticed that registered users
are capable of adding their own links to our page. I guess Master did this on
purpose? In any case, so long as itâ??s not abused I think itâ??s great! Saves my
lazy self the trouble of adding links to all the people I read and all the
people who read me and/or link to me. So add away! All I ask is that if youâ??re
going to link yourself on our site please link us on yours. Maybe thatâ??s
arrogant or whatever, but I think itâ??s just common courtesy. At least, if I
were going to add my link to someone elseâ??s site, Iâ??d put their link on mine. Fairâ??s
fair.

In any case, the dreaded job is calling my name so I have to
finish getting ready to leave. Anyone want to hire a quick learner to do some
online or over the phone job and pay her lots and lots of money? Didnâ??t think
so 🙁 Canâ??t blame a girl for trying though, huh?

~rayne