Archive for June, 2007

Fuck Me

June 16th, 2007 No comments

Yesterday we spent the day talking about it. He asked what I
was doing and I told Him. â??Iâ??m watching porn. Iâ??m so fucking horny today.â? He
asked what kind of porn and I described each one to Him as I watched them. Itâ??s
difficult to find free BDSM porn. I think Iâ??ll start looking harder. But what I
did find was lesbian porn (Yumm! Gods I need pussy!), college porn, straight
porn, a girl fucking herself with various objects increasing in size (no it
wasnâ??t kaya
Tongue out).

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Categories: Rayne Tags:

Journal to Discussion

June 14th, 2007 No comments

He validated my feelings. It never fails to amaze me that
when I go about things the right way, talking to Him with deference while
remaining in my place as opposed to screaming or throwing a tantrum, He
listens. And He talks back. And usually, unless Iâ??m completely out of line in
my thinking, He says â??I understand.â? and if itâ??s something Heâ??s willing to
compromise on, He does.

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Categories: Rayne Tags:

Links and Face-slapping

June 9th, 2007 No comments

Iâ??m a strange bird. I know what turns Him on. I know the road
He wants to go down when He hurts me while Heâ??s fucking me. I know the emotions
He wants to see on my face. The tears, the scared, hurt little girl, the defeatâ?¦
And I hold it back.

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Categories: Rayne Tags:

A Girlfriend?

June 7th, 2007 Comments off

There was a girl a while back who lived with me.  She was probably one of the best friends a person could have. So naturally, I pushed her away.  I told her I could never love her as more than a friend.  That my interest in her didn’t expand beyond a very close confidant.

I’m finding myself more and more wishing we had a girlfriend.  And last night and part of this morning I found myself thinking specifically of her.

Master met her once or twice.  He didn’t really talk to her much.  All He really knows about her is what I’ve told Him.  And still, I thought of searching for her.  Nothing too dramatic.  Maybe just a search online for the places I remember she lived and perhaps a call or two.  I suppose I could always drop in on her aunt in Vermont as soon as we have a legal/fully working vehicle.  (That would give us an excuse to pop into the cute little diner Master and I love so much,  provided it’s still there.)

Maybe this is all too creepy? I dunno.  I do know I miss my friend and I realized I can love her as more than a friend.  Even with all her little quirks and annoyances.  Maybe because of them.

One of the last nights I remember spending with her before the ex came back and ruined everything, she and I were sitting on the back porch talking.  She begged me to let her kiss me and I refused.  She promised that when I kissed her I’d realize how much I loved her.  Maybe she was right.  Who knows?

Hindsight, you know? We need a girlfriend!

Categories: Rayne Tags:

Role In Illness

June 6th, 2007 No comments

Thankfully, for me, Master has managed to maintain His role throughout
this particular bout of illness. He almost always does. Even when
completely doped up on morphine He still manages to growl out, "You
better not forget your place, bitch." at some point.

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Categories: Rayne Tags:

Showing Appreciation to a Slave

June 3rd, 2007 Comments off

I spent much of this past week in the hospital with a nasty infection and abscess that was buried deep in my back muscle. Not the best time I’ve had in my life, that’s for sure.

As expected, rayne stayed by my side and was available for whatever I needed the entire time, missing a weeks worth of work herself.

When we were finally able to come home yesterday, her work wasn’t over, as she needed to whip the house into shape as I’ll be having a visiting nurse daily stop in to change the dressing on my back. We’re not messy people, but in the past couple of weeks a lot less got done due to me being sick, so it was a few hours of work.

This entire situation got me to thinking. I am generally a polite person, manners were something I was taught when I was growing up. So when a nurse brings my pain medication, or I needed to ask for something, it was always accompanied with “Please” and “Thank you”, whereas if I needed rayne to get me something it was more an order, without the pleasantries.

Briefly I felt guilty about this, I must confess. While rayne can be a pain in the rear at times, when it matters she’s usually on best behavior. So I spent some time thinking about this. Read more…

Categories: Melen Tags: