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No Neighbors??!?

June 21st, 2007


Weâ??ve not had any really hard sessions since weâ??ve been
here. Itâ??s been at least two years since Iâ??ve been strung up and beaten until I
begged to be let down. The result is that it doesnâ??t take much for me to beg
Him to stop or attempt to jump out of the way now. And with a week of no one to
hear, it might take a good deal of begging before He even hears my pleas, let
alone responds to them. Especially after two years of not being able to release
as much of His sadistic nature as Heâ??d like.


The passed few days have been a little rougher than I
expected them to be. I have to drag myself out of bed to get ready for work. I
really donâ??t want to go there.
On top of
that, Masterâ??s seems dead set on setting the tone for the next week or so. Thatâ??s
probably a good thing. Just dropping me into the sessions He plans to have
might be a little harsher than Iâ??m ready to deal with. Then again, maybe not.
Who knows?


The neighbors are going away. For a week. Leaving us all
alone in this big building. No one to hear my screams. No one to wonder what
that slapping sound is. No one to bitch when I moan too loud. No one to â??saveâ?
me.


Iâ??m excited. Iâ??m scared. Iâ??m elated. Iâ??m nervous. I think
the only thing keeping me tethered instead of sending me floating off into the
Neverland of emotion is knowing I still have to work next week. No matter what
He does to me at night, at daybreak I have to get up, get ready, and go to work
acting as if nothing happened.


Weâ??ve not had any really hard sessions since weâ??ve been
here. Itâ??s been at least two years since Iâ??ve been strung up and beaten until I
begged to be let down. The result is that it doesnâ??t take much for me to beg
Him to stop or attempt to jump out of the way now. And with a week of no one to
hear, it might take a good deal of begging before He even hears my pleas, let
alone responds to them. Especially after two years of not being able to release
as much of His sadistic nature as Heâ??d like.


Iâ??m excited. I said that already, huh? I miss it. I miss the
heavy hand. I miss crying. I miss being able to sob, scream, begâ?¦


I canâ??t wait! I should have asked when they were leaving!

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