Iâ??ve started reading the Gor novels again. The intent was to
begin to reiterate to myself a few things that I learned a long time ago but I
seem to be unable to master. Suddenly, these books have nowhere near the effect
on me that they used to. And I canâ??t decide whether itâ??s because of the watered
down form of Gorean culture Iâ??ve experienced online or not.

I think Iâ??m losing the ability to take things with a grain
of salt and be on my way. Or maybe Iâ??m just pissier than usual toward the
outside world because Iâ??m sick of it invading my life. Maybe I just seriously
cannot understand why people always have to take everything so literally and
have things spelled out in 1000 word essays before they fully comprehend a
concept you are trying to discuss instead of just latching on to snippets that
really donâ??t mean anything.

And why do people always take the things I say as me telling
them they have to believe exactly the same things I do? Do I seriously have to
preface everything I say with â??In my opinionâ?¦â? or â??This is what I thinkâ?¦â? or â??The
way I was taught isâ?¦â? before someone notices the obvious?? It canâ??t be because
I write well. Sometimes, in rereading some of the things I say, I sound like a
blithering idiot. Usually because I canâ??t get the words I want to put down to
come out of my damn head. I canâ??t imagine I come across so forceful as to make
people believe that Iâ??m saying there is no other way. Because the fact of the
matter is if anyone uses their â??Big Boy/Girl voiceâ? I cower in fear. If people
even sound the slightest bit displeased with me, I whimper in agony. And damn
it, Iâ??m tired of having to re-explain myself over and over.

Anywayâ?¦ /rant. I had a topic for this planned out and itâ??s
already flown pretty much completely out of my head so if this sounds garbled I
blameâ?¦ Masterâ??s lack of sleep. Or something.

Iâ??ve started reading the Gor novels again. The intent was to
begin to reiterate to myself a few things that I learned a long time ago but I
seem to be unable to master. Suddenly, these books have nowhere near the effect
on me that they used to. And I canâ??t decide whether itâ??s because of the watered
down form of Gorean culture Iâ??ve experienced online or not.

Iâ??m currently reading Savages of Gor. Iâ??m just barely into
Tarlâ??s first encounter with the Dust Legs, which means Iâ??ve just finished the
conversation between Tarl and the red-haired slave about the difference between
Earthâ??s and Gorâ??s opinions of the state of virginity. Unfortunately, because of
how itâ??s written, instead of taking something good away from that conversation,
I mostly left it in irritation because of how boringly technical it is.

However, Iâ??ve come to understand, in reading the books, that
there really is no true corner stone to Gorean belief. There are things all or
most agree are extremely important â?? respect, honor, the homestone, to name a
few â?? but one would be hard pressed to find any two regions on Gor that share all
the same beliefs. In the north, sharing salt with someone forms a bond that it
is disrespectful to break. In the south, the same goes for paga. In Port Kar,
thieves are allowed to do business in whatever way they wish so long as they
are part of the Caste of Thieves and adhere to the rules placed upon them. In
any other city, a thief who is caught is forced into slavery.

The books arenâ??t only about slavery. Thereâ??s a great deal
more in them than dominance and submission. And I know a good deal of people
who follow the books follow them more as a Sci-Fi role-play than an actual
Master/slave belief. For me, the Sci-Fi aspect is mostly a little fun thrown
in. Spice to the story to make it a little more fun to learn. Like when you
teach a kid to tie shoes. Howâ??s that go again? The bunny runs around the tree,
then jumps in the hole? Something like that, anyway.

I try to smile and nod when people say things that are absolutely
false. I keep my mouth shut when I notice behaviors and rules and such that go
directly against the books. Hell, the third person speech that so many are
insistent upon forcing slaves to use in the channels is only used in the books as
punishment or to further imbue objectification on a slave. I wonâ??t pretend itâ??s
not a good training method. Itâ??s extremely difficult to argue with Master in
third person. Even harder when He says â??I? Speak as a slave or donâ??t speak at
all.â? But when asked by someone whoâ??s new to all this â??Why do the slaves speak
that way?â? donâ??t respond with â??Itâ??s in the books.â? Itâ??s not in the books. At
least not the way itâ??s used online.

I donâ??t know specifically what my point in all this is. Maybe
just that there are different philosophies offered in the books and that
everyone is entitled to their own belief system and/or opinion. Me? Iâ??d just
like to get through one day of being online without being made to feel inferior
because I donâ??t play little pretty princess with the free.

Maybe I am low slave. In the books, low slave was always the
most submissive, the most lascivious, the most responsive slave in the bunch. The
one who enjoyed and thrived in her slavery the most. The other slaves always
tried to shame her for it, but the free always pointed out that this was who
she was supposed to be. Maybe thatâ??s it.

Anywayâ?¦ I guess thatâ??s it for now. I have other chores to
attend to. Maybe when theyâ??re finished Iâ??ll broach the quotes I have found
interesting in Savages.