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Coming Attractions?

March 5th, 2007


I spent Sunday morning holding Master with my face pressed
to His back and smiling completely content with the way things are going. I
realized that the only way I can be touched now is if I let the attempts at
screwing with me get to me. And Iâ??m finished with that.



Starting today and over the next few days (months? Hereâ??s
hoping it doesnâ??t take long.) The thing forcing me to work will be mostly
removed. There will be only $50.00 weekly Iâ??ll have to pay and technically we
could easily cover that with Masterâ??s income. My pay check will serve only as
extra money for whatever Master wishes to do with it.


Some will go to getting the tattoo I designed (and He
approved) marking me slave (and His) permanently. Some will go to new camera
lenses, a new camera body, etc. Some will go to (hopefully) the 75 gallon bow
front tank weâ??d both like to purchase and build a salt water tank with. That
will be a work in progress. Itâ??s not a cheap hobby. Weâ??ve already got most of
it spent just as soon as weâ??ve paid off the few bills weâ??ve fallen behind on
due to the cut in my hours at the old job.


I thought this change would devastate me. The fact of the
matter is Iâ??ve been more than ready for over a year. Ready for all
responsibility to be stripped of me. Ready to be finished with the emotional
warfare Iâ??ve been caught up in since 1997. Ready to move on with my life with
Master and not have anything major connecting me to the real world. Once this
major change (which ultimately only changes the amount of money coming from my
paycheck) takes effect, I will finally be able to focus all of my energy on
being what Iâ??ve been groomed to be these last four years without the tremendous
guilt that has been plaguing me for as long.


I know Iâ??m being vague. Iâ??m not sure my readers are ready to
know what Iâ??m choosing my slavery over. What I chose my slavery over four years
ago. And you know what? Iâ??m not sure I care. But at the moment Iâ??m writing this
I donâ??t have permission to go into detail. And so it waits.


Instead Iâ??ll talk about what this has done for me.


My heart feels lighter. Thereâ??s more room in my head for
important things. Thereâ??s less for me to worry about in the long run. What
society thinks about our lifestyle and my place in life has become much less
important in only a matter of days. And my back doesnâ??t feel like itâ??s breaking
anymore.


I spent Sunday morning holding Master with my face pressed
to His back and smiling completely content with the way things are going. I
realized that the only way I can be touched now is if I let the attempts at
screwing with me get to me. And Iâ??m finished with that.


I donâ??t know where all this is leading. Iâ??m not entirely
sure of the end result Iâ??m looking for. What I do know, though, is that I just
got shoved violently into the fast track down the road to total objectification
and Iâ??m excited to see where it goes.


My job, now, isnâ??t something forced on us. Itâ??s something
Master chooses for me. And Iâ??m sure that takes a lot of the stress off of Him. He
can make me quit whenever He chooses without worrying about His property being
taken away from Him. It takes a lot of the stress off of me as well. I donâ??t
have to strive so hard to be perfect at what I do unless He tells me to. This
isnâ??t saying Iâ??ll stop doing my job well. I canâ??t help but try to do it to the
best of my ability with what Iâ??m given even though the residents do nothing but
complain anyway.


What a sad life they must have. Nothing better to do than
bitch about everything theyâ??re given. If they want gourmet cooking, maybe they
should pony up the dough for a better ALC. Even if I was a trained gourmet cook
I wouldnâ??t be able to do it with an oven that never comes up to temp and crappy,
pre-prepared canned and frozen food.


In any caseâ?¦ much to do about nothing. Maybe Iâ??ll have more
interesting blogs for you in the coming days!

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