Master stayed home today because He wasnâ??t feeling well. And
itâ??s probably a good thing He did because I was still a mess when we got up
this morning. I felt retched and terrible and I was utterly falling apart. All
I could think was â??What the hell is wrong with me? These are all things I know!
Why am I acting like a tantrum is going to change them?â? And I had fallen back
on â??Iâ??ll just be a robot. Thatâ??s what He wants. A robot.â? Thatâ??s not what He
wants, stupid!
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Well Iâ??ve come to the conclusion that the reason I canâ??t
stand that many strokes with the cane is because Master hits me a whole fuck of
a lot harder than you other girls get hit. I guess itâ??s possible that Iâ??m just
a wimp or that my body has a lower tolerance for pain. But in reading a few
other girls and hearing them talk about how many strokes of anything it took
before they were welted (or their skin was firm and lumpy, as kaya put it
::grin:: ), I think Master definitely hits harder.
Iâ??m always welted after the first stroke. Heâ??s made my ass
bleed in five. After ten, I could swear something is broken. I donâ??t know how
many He gave me last night but judging from His â??another twentyâ? comment (which
Iâ??ll repeat here in a bit) Iâ??m guessing twenty? And I have twenty countable
welts on my ass still. The blankets touching them felt like someone slamming a
two by four against my ass. Sitting here hurts like hell.
I managed to piss Him way the fuck off and I was already
promised a caning for my tantrum. I made the mistake of saying I didnâ??t think
something was fair.
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