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Sexual Submission

January 6th, 2007

I have a million, billion things I want to write about. Really!
I started a list. And I decided to start with â??sexual submissionâ?. This might
actually be all over the place. Iâ??m often all over the place. But I will do
what I can to get my point acrossâ?¦ promise!

I get extremely frustrated, sometimes, hearing the responses
of other submissives and slaves when theyâ??re asked â??Why do you do this?â?, among
other things. I donâ??t often get asked these thought provoking questions. Itâ??s
sad, too, because I have a million rotten answers and a couple of real ones.

The number one response when you ask a submissive why she
gives her control over to someone else is â??Because I have a huge sexual desire
to do so.� Well, okay then. What happens when your cunt gets bored with
submitting? You just walk away? Thatâ??s awful shitty, I think.

I understand that for a lot of people the act of domination
and submission is entirely sexual. Thereâ??s nothing more. Once they both cum
thereâ??s no more need for him to be in control. I get it. Well, okayâ?¦ I donâ??t
get it, but I know there are people like that. Bedroom kink, while powerful,
often leads to orgasms and nothing more. Youâ??ll never find these girls in the
closet waiting to be allowed out just to do the dishes. Speaking of which, I
seriously need to get the closet cleaned out so I can wait in the closet
just to do the dishes
. To each his own, whatever.

Will someone please ask me why I give my control over to someone
else? Rayne, why do you give your control over to someone else? Thank
you! â?? Can you tell I donâ??t really have a direction with this one? â??

The answer is because I need to be owned. I need to be
controlled. And while a lot of times this need does feed the nympho-masochist
screaming to be sated, the majority of the time it does not. I donâ??t cum while
washing Masterâ??s socks in the sink when the washerâ??s on the fritz. My pussy
doesnâ??t drip while I throw together something for us to eat. I get no sexual
satisfaction from being ordered to make phone calls to people I have no
interest in communicating with and talking about finances we donâ??t have.

There is a desire, a hunger so deep to serve and to be found
pleasing. Thereâ??s nothing that makes me happier than to hear His voice croon â??Good
girl.â? in my ear. And thereâ??s nothing that destroys me more than seeing
disappointment on His face and hearing the combination of anger and sadness in
His voice when I screw up.

It saddens me when submissives â?? slaves especially â?? say they
submit because it gets their pussy wet. Because there is so much more to being
owned than the slippery lips between our legs, girls. So much!

Thereâ??s the look of satisfaction on His face when what seems
like a menial task to you is completed and He is pleased. Thereâ??s the snuggly
warmth when He needs a human sized teddy bear and pulls His toy to Him to hug
and cuddle. Thereâ??s that special look in His eye when He looks at His property,
that look that says â??Youâ??re mine.â? The way He surveys a crowded room when Heâ??s
ready to settle down and His eyes pass over every beautiful face without so
much as a second glance until they lock onto yours.

The claiming. Daily. Like being collared over and over.
Reminded that you are owned. That you are no longer your own. That someone else
controls even the next breath you take in.

And all of this is emotional. Itâ??s almost impossible to
describe. Itâ??s like this huge swelling in your chest. A warmth that spreads
through your entire body.

In any caseâ?¦ Iâ??m to interested in talking to K to continue
with this train of thought. Have a splendiferous night and Iâ??ll try to finish
this another day if I feel it needs finishing!

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