I just wanted to throw this out there to confuse you even
more, dear reader.

Soâ?¦ Iâ??m finally coming to terms with it being impossible to
refuse to ask to do things that need doing until I absolutely cannot put them
off anymore. If only because once I give in and am ready to ask, Master might
not be around for me to ask and I might have a desperate need that I cannot
fill.

Really. I learned my lesson today. No joke.

So what does He do? He rips the rug out from under me, then
pulls the wool over my eyes.

Earlier, we were chatting after lunch and I had this sudden
urge to pee. So I asked. No way I was waiting so I could end up with Him away
from His keyboard and me damn near in tears because I had to pee. And I was met
with a resoundingâ?¦ No. I froze. I stared at the screen for a moment. Surely
Heâ??s joking, right? I learned my lesson.
Heâ??s not really telling me no, is He? Is He? And the answer
is yes. He was really telling me no.

I responded with a hesitant â??Yes, Master.â? I wasnâ??t sure
what to make of it. All sorts of thoughts ran through my head. Mostly But I
have to pee, damn it! I tried like hell to figure out what was so important
that I couldnâ??t go to the bathroom. But once Iâ??d shaken the original
deer-in-the-headlights reaction, I continued on like it was nothing. Oh. I
canâ??t go? Okay. And on to another subject. I even battled down the urge to
ask â??Why not?â? when I could think of no plausible explanation except â??Because I
said so.�

An hour later, when I absolutely could not hold it anymore,
I asked again. And I gripped the arms of my chair and stared with anticipation,
completely ready to piss all over my fake leather chair and the floor if He
said no. He said yes. And I said, â??Thank you, Master!â? with genuine
appreciation and danced off to the bathroom.

When I got home from work this evening, I asked to go to the
bathroom and again was met with â??Not right now.â? I made a disapproving, whiney
noise. â??Is that how youâ??re supposed to respond?â? I stared at Him in awe with
pretty much the exact same expression on my face as I had when He told me no
earlier. â??No, Master.â? â??How should you respond?â? â??Yes, Master.â? And I sat on the
floor beside Him.

It wasnâ??t long. My sad puppy dog eyes did Him in (I wish!). â??Go
to the bathroom, cunt.� And I sprung to my feet and ran to the toilet. Okay so
I crawled to my feet and walked slowly to the toilet after a short, longing
look at my Sodoku book (Damn my mom for getting me hooked!).

So I learned a new lesson today. One I already knew but I
suppose it doesnâ??t hurt to reiterate lessons from time to time. I learned that
asking doesnâ??t always mean getting. Sometimes Heâ??ll say no. And sometimes Heâ??ll
say no for no other reason then because He felt like it.

::smiles all proud:: She can be taught!