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Loser?

November 7th, 2006



I was thinking today, while doing dishes, about a phone call
I made ages ago. Don't ask me why I think about such completely random things.
I always do it totally out of the blue regardless of whether or not I even gave
the actual event a second thought while it was happening.

Anyway, I was calling Master's ex-wife at work about their
daughter or something (He hates talking to her more than I do, sadly.) and the
voice that answered the phone almost knocked me out of my chair. Someone else
had safely made it out of Whitehall,
NY. Her name's Sharon, and she
picked up by complete accident. The person who answered the phone had thought
I'd said I wanted to speak to Sharon instead of Shannon.

In any case, without even thinking, I asked her last name.
She gave it, sounding a little annoyed. I asked if she had 15 brothers and
sisters. She said she did, now sounding suspicious. And I told her who I was. I
lived next door to her best friend for two years. They babysat my kids on more
than one occasion. Then I lived next door to her brother for two years. I
partied with half her family and was FTF with two of her brothers. I hung out
with her often, either by accident or on purpose. I know everyone in her family
for one reason or another.

She had no idea who I was. Doesn't remember ever meeting a
woman with four kids. Doesn't remember ever babysitting my kids. Doesn't
remember going over to her brother's house and finding me asleep on the floor
among a number of other drunken, passed out young adults.

I didn't realize I was so forgettable. Or maybe it's just
that I remember almost everyone I ever encounter. Even if I don't always
remember their name, I absolutely remember their face, and usually the
influence they had on my life… or lack thereof.

Anyway, the loser quiz says i sit on the fence. Maybe that's
it. Not cool enough to be remembered for my awesomeness and not sucky enough to
be remembered for my shittyness. Just that much of a fence-rider that there's
nothing really remarkable about me. And you know… I'm okay with that. Once
upon a time it would have freaked me out. Weird, that.

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