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Being Marked

October 31st, 2006

Master's been staring down Ebay almost since He's been home
and I figured I'd take this time (provided I can concentrate between His
sporadic exclamations of how long is left on the auction) to babble about
something that's been on my mind for at least a couple of days.

I've taken to reading more submissive/slave blogs these days
and I often find myself comparing my behavior to the behavior they talk about,
my situation to their situation, things they've experienced and how they talk
about them to things I've experienced and how I talk about them. Today I was
led to the blog of a slave who has been marked with her owner's initials.
His… internet name… initials. That last part didn't hit me until just now
and wasn't my original point, though I'm sure it will have at least a paragraph
in this post.

Anyway, the point…

I've always been very excited about the idea of being marked
in a way that would make it obvious to those in the lifestyle who and what I
am. I'm not really specifically interested in being marked in a way that
vanilla folks won't know what it is, just a way that it won't be completely,
overbearingly obvious. This is mostly because American society, this day and
age, is liable to start trying to control what people can put on their own person,
but it's also because we live in a society where consent is absolutely
necessary (unless you enjoy being stuck behind bars for a long period of time)
and forcing our beliefs on some unsuspecting someone is unfeasible.

At some point, Master made it rayne's job to research common
symbols among those in the lifestyle. Things people recognize as "slave
markings". With these symbols in mind, she designed a tattoo with no real
destination (other than somewhere visible on her skin) chosen, figuring that
part was Master's job. Naturally, throughout the process, she checked with Him
to see if He liked what she was working on. And she's found bits and pieces
around the web along the way.

There's been dozens of changes. First, Master absolutely
wanted His name on her. Then He said He didn't want His name on her. One reason
was that in the Gorean novels, the brand was never personal. It was always just
something designating a girl as property. The collar told who owned her.
Another reason was that she didn't deserve to have His name on her. she was
crushed. she's not sure where it stands now. she mentioned (she doesn't
remember in what context) her tattoo and not having His name on her once and He
blew up about her not wanting His name on her and she explained what He had
said that once about brands. she never mentioned it again.

Once in a while, He brings it up. He talks about how He
wants her marked. When she got the job at the supermarket, He said that it
would only be a couple of weeks, at most a month, before He took her down the
street to get it done. she tried to get excited. she tried to show how happy
she was. But two things weighed heavy on her mind. 1) Would He be allowing her
to have His name as well as the Chinese letter for slave? 2) Is it really going
to happen this time?

The more time goes by, the more she fears she'll never get
it. Every day there's something new… some new financial thing that makes it difficult for us to do anything but
pay the bills. And when we do have extra cash, there's something Master wants
more. It sometimes causes questions. Is she not worthy? Does He not want it
anymore?

Anyway… back to this girl who has her owner's online
initials tattooed on her back. What's with that, eh? Isn't that a little…
odd? I mean… he owns her real life (they have real life visits and such). And
I guess he's married. And… it's just a strange situation. But why his online
initials? Why not his real initials? Anyway… none of my business. Just very
strange to me.

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