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Again With the Gift

July 31st, 2006

I just can’t do it.  I can’t see submission as a gift.  I can’t see slavery as a gift.  I love the idea.  It’s idealistic and sweet and naive… all the things I am not.  And maybe that’s why I just can’t get into it.

I wonder sometimes who first thought up this cockamamie concept.  Who first used it to manipulate who? I can see it now.

Cue wavy meshing of ID and a new scene.  There they are.  Over there in the corner.  Pan over to them.

Huddled around a poker table, thick cigars in their mouths or between their fingertips, sit a group of beautiful women each with a ring on their finger.  Over their brandy snifters and poker chips, they’re telling tales of how they attempt to convince their husbands to submit.  A particularly beautiful red head tips the derby perched on her crown and opens her mouth to speak.  As if held in utter rapture at her voice, the other women shut up and listen.

“I told him it was a gift.”

“You… what?” A Barbie-like blond asks.  In fact, her name is Barbie.

“I told him that submitting to me would be the best gift he could ever give me.”

“It worked?”

“Like a charm.  Big dumb galoot bounded right over to me and ate my pussy like it was the last meal he’d ever have. “Yes, Mistress.”  this and “No, Mistress.”  that.  Let me spank him and shove my dildo up his ass.  Then I made him beg for the coat hanger across his cock.  I’ve never seen it so hard.  And then when it was over, you’ll never guess what he said.”

“What?” Peggy, the black haired vixen to Barbie’s left, breathed in anticipation.

“”Wait till everyone hears.  None of the guys will be able to top this Valentine’s gift.””

The women all cackle in delight, and then their faces fall as Red calls the last bet placed and drops a hand full of aces and kings.

Wavy mesh of scene back into ID.  I’m over here.  No… this way.  Hey! Mister Camera Man! There.

And I did the “dominant woman” scene first because we all know what manipulative little bitches we women can be.  I see you smiling in spite of the vehement head shaking you’re doing.  Women are manipulative… period… end of sentence.  Now on to men, cause they’re tricksy. 

Fade this time into a bedroom with a black light and lots of leather and lace.

“Whoa, this is your room?”

“Yeah, ain’t it grand?”

“It’s incredible.  What do you do in here besides sleep?”

“Oh much sleeping doesn’t go on in here.  Lots of gift giving, though.”

The naive little blonde turns her wide eyes to her new date thinking, as we women often do, that by “gift” he means pussy eating.  She smiles a bit and sidles up to the big hulk of a man she just let take her home.  She kisses his neck before he slips just out of her reach and picks up a pair of handcuffs.  Her big blue eyes show a glint of worry but she smiles anyway.

“Handcuffs.  Kinky.”

“See, it’s like this, baby.  I want you to do whatever I tell you to.  It’s called “submitting to my will” and you’d be a  “submissive”.  You dig?”

Her eyes flash in anger.  “I dig.  And I’m not a puppet eith…”

“No, no… you got it all wrong, baby.  You’re not being a puppet.  You’re giving me a gift.  The greatest gift anyone could ever give.”  She doesn’t notice him inching closer and gasps in surprise when he locks the cuffs around her wrists.  “And any time you want me to stop… to revoke your gift, you just say “red light” and I’ll stop.”

And because she’s a woman, and we women are also easily manipulated, gullible if you will, she falls for it… hook, line, and sinker.

“Sure, okay.  I’m giving a gift.  Wait till I tell the girls.”

Fade back to ID.  Oh look… you decided to focus on me first thing.  Now I don’t have to fire you.

Why yes… yes I am feeling a bit goofy today.

And I’ve heard it from submissives too.

“I just don’t get it! I’m giving him this marvelous gift and he doesn’t want it! Isn’t it in a man’s nature to dominate a woman?”


“Women are superior to men and I love to bestow my gift of submission upon the ladies in my life.”

Did we convince them or did they convince us? And why do I find it more likely that we convinced them (more likely than not the submissive women convinced the dominant men) because we’re so god damned manipulative and we have to have some way to control the situation.  No, I do NOT have much faith in my gender.  I know us too well.

What probably happened is some feminazicuntfacewhore decided she wanted to submit.  Probably one of those that runs those stupid “Women do not like to be hit” classes.  And so in order to make the submission something she could revoke whenever she wanted for whatever reason (even if the only reason is she’s just neurotic) she told her dom it was this marvelous gift she gave because she loved him so much.  How she could only give this gift to one person (even though she’s given it away repeatedly) and how it had to be someone she loved and blah blah blah blah fucking blah blah.  And some other feminazicuntfacewhore liked the idea and so started the “tradition” of the “gift of submission”.

It’s not a gift.  A gift is something you give without expecting something in return.  The first definition in The American Heritage Dictionary is “Something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation.”  The act of submitting to another always, always, always comes with exceptions to the rule, expectations for the dom/me, the right to revoke it whenever the submissive chooses, and on and on it goes.

I’ll admit it.  When I submitted to Master I had expectations.  I expected Him to fulfill my desire to submit by fulfilling his desire to dominate me.  I expected Him to fulfill my desire for pain by fulfilling His desire to inflict pain upon me.  I expected Him to fulfill my desire to be loved by fulfilling His desire to love me.  I expected Him to fulfill my desire to love Him by fulfilling His desire to be loved by me.  Never once did I think I was giving Him a gift.  In actuality even before I consciously acknowledged that I was screwing up, I always firmly believed that what I was giving Him was a huge burden.

A compromise? Maybe but not always.  An exchange? Yes.  Definitely.  Was it a conscious decision of “I’ll give you this if you give me that?” No.  There was no ultimatum in play.  I never said “If you don’t give me your dominance I’ll stop giving you my submission.”  I never even thought it.  It was never a question.  I was… am submitted to Him fully, even if He tires of dominating me.  While there’s no longer any expectation except that He hold to His word (which was a right He gave me, not something I assumed), when this started there was a lot of them.  That makes it an exchange not a gift.

Yeah yeah… I know I harp on that a lot.  But it irritates me.  And today I stumbled on a blog written by a master calling it a gift and that irritates me even more.  Hey buddy, believe what you want.  Live in your naive fantasy world if you like.  But the fact remains that she doesn’t give you her submission only to please you.  She gives it to you because it also pleases her.  Maybe in the long run that’s not the case.  But in the begining, it most certainly is.

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