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Waking Up

July 17th, 2006

When rayne was a little girl, she used to get out of bed when her alarm went off and crawl into her parents" bed while they showered. Whose pillow she lay on depended on who she was closest to at that moment but it was usually her father"s. she"d run her fingers over the sateen sheets, snuggle into the million and one blankets on the bed, and pretend that this big comfy mattress fit for a king (or an officer in the military, as the case may be) was hers. But mostly she"d just try to capture a few more moments of being close to these people she wanted to love but never could before she went off to school.

rayne"s all grown up now. And she"s learned how to love but still
has no real interest in being close to her family. her father told her,
when she was 18, "You have your own family now. You"re not my daughter
anymore." And so it"s time, she thinks, that she moved on.

At
six o"clock the alarm goes off. This slave lies in bed until Master
gets out of it and makes His way to the shower. And then she rolls to
the center of the bed and rests her head on the corner of His pillow.
she slides her fingers over the pillowcase and breathes in His scent.
she curls slightly as if curling against Him and pretends He doesn"t
have to go to work and He"s still lying in bed with her. Sometimes she
drifts off to sleep for a few short moments before getting out of bed
and putting the coffee on. Mostly, though, she lies there full of
longing.

Today was no different. she lay in bed and
wondered what she could do to make this day a nicer one for Him.
Something around the house, her behavior, anything to put an extra
smile on His face. Today her behavior will be it, she thinks. An
attempt to do everything right for once. No attitude for any reason, no
laziness, hanging on His every word. rayne needs to help Him to teach
her that unless He says otherwise, her thoughts should only be with
Him, what He wants her to think about, and what He finds pleasing and
nothing else should enter her mind. she"s getting better at it and
she"s sure with practice and this new approach at her training she"ll
be a pro in no time.

It can be difficult, at times, to
keep all the outside bull shit from entering her mind. she finds,
however, that when she"s not worried about saving the world she"s a) a
much happier person and b) a much more attentive slave. The latter is
more important than the former and is her main reason in continuing to
pursue the ellusive "well-behaved slave" persona that she knows is
dying to escape the cell she"s locked it in. They say it"s a
never-ending battle, this learning to be what rayne craves. It will end
and it will end the way she wants it to… with Master Melen sublimely
happy having everything He wants and rayne as His adoring, cherished
slave. There is no other ending to this story unless it pleases Him.

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