Archive for July, 2006

Again With the Gift

July 31st, 2006 Comments off

I just can’t do it.  I can’t see submission as a gift.  I can’t see slavery as a gift.  I love the idea.  It’s idealistic and sweet and naive… all the things I am not.  And maybe that’s why I just can’t get into it.

I wonder sometimes who first thought up this cockamamie concept.  Who first used it to manipulate who? I can see it now.

Cue wavy meshing of ID and a new scene.  There they are.  Over there in the corner.  Pan over to them.

Huddled around a poker table, thick cigars in their mouths or between their fingertips, sit a group of beautiful women each with a ring on their finger.  Over their brandy snifters and poker chips, they’re telling tales of how they attempt to convince their husbands to submit.  A particularly beautiful red head tips the derby perched on her crown and opens her mouth to speak.  As if held in utter rapture at her voice, the other women shut up and listen.

“I told him it was a gift.”

“You… what?” A Barbie-like blond asks.  In fact, her name is Barbie.

“I told him that submitting to me would be the best gift he could ever give me.”

“It worked?”

“Like a charm.  Big dumb galoot bounded right over to me and ate my pussy like it was the last meal he’d ever have. “Yes, Mistress.”  this and “No, Mistress.”  that.  Let me spank him and shove my dildo up his ass.  Then I made him beg for the coat hanger across his cock.  I’ve never seen it so hard.  And then when it was over, you’ll never guess what he said.”

“What?” Peggy, the black haired vixen to Barbie’s left, breathed in anticipation.

“”Wait till everyone hears.  None of the guys will be able to top this Valentine’s gift.””

The women all cackle in delight, and then their faces fall as Red calls the last bet placed and drops a hand full of aces and kings.

Wavy mesh of scene back into ID.  I’m over here.  No… this way.  Hey! Mister Camera Man! There.

And I did the “dominant woman” scene first because we all know what manipulative little bitches we women can be.  I see you smiling in spite of the vehement head shaking you’re doing.  Women are manipulative… period… end of sentence.  Now on to men, cause they’re tricksy.  Read more…

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Great Sex and a Little History

July 31st, 2006 No comments

I woke up this morning with this incredible feeling of "God don't let him go." as if Master leaving for work this morning would be Master leaving forever. I've managed to calm myself a bit by reminding myself that He has to go today. Today's check day and tomorrow's rent day and both are sort of important. After He got in the shower, I rolled over and laid my head on His pillow and curled up next to the empty space that is His side of the bed and dreaded the day to come.

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Memories and Recent Past

July 28th, 2006 No comments

Okay so I lied. I am going to make first person a habit. For some it helps them to speak in third person… helps them get out of their own head. Makes them feel like they're talking about someone else. I need to be inside my head and I need to know that I'm talking about myself. And talking in third hinders this. And this one's a long one. So here we go.

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Just Ask!

July 26th, 2006 No comments

When Master first put this blog up, it was mine. My place to express myself. To tell stories that danced through my mind, to discuss (if only with myself) opinions that I held, to talk about the things I've learned along the way.

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Journal Day

July 25th, 2006 No comments

I don't like writing in third person (Cue Master's voice: It doesn't matter what you like, slave.). It makes it difficult, sometimes, for me to convey my thoughts… to articulate the things I want to. I've never really thought in third person on a regular basis – even when I was writing and speaking in third person, both in real life and on the net, full time. It's never been even an unspoken rule that I write in third person here, I just started doing it. I probably won't make it a practice, this writing in first person thing, unless there's a larger response to the slave speaking in first person or I'm given permission. Today is just an "I need to babble about anything and everything that comes to mind and doing it in first person will make it easier on me." type of thing. And as I say that, I'm constantly having to go back and correct my third person mistakes so it doesn"t get confusing.

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An Anxiety Attack, 10 Whacks, and Animal Nature

July 24th, 2006 No comments

It doesn't happen all that often anymore, but recently rayne had an anxiety attack. Old fears and new revelations she was supposed to have understood ages ago. she envisioned that things which have always been might not necessarily be so anymore. Little stupid worries she#39;s supposed to be over, such as Master deciding He just doesn#39;t love her anymore, keeping her simply as something to fuck occasionally, and finding someone else to love instead; someone who might not necessarily be slave. And understanding that she is, above all else, regardless of His personal feelings for her, property. she always thought she knew that. she always thought she understood that He has the right to do whatever He pleases and she has no say in it.

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