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Mirror, Mirror

June 4th, 2006

This slave, while readying herself for the shower yesterday, happened to glance into the mirror intending to decide whether or not she should leave the waves the overnight braids made in her hair. Oddly enough, she was surprised at what she saw there. A pretty slave girl, complete with collar, cheeks flushed and lips puffy from recent use. And she stared for a moment and thought "Well, what do you know? The books are right."

John Norman"s books say that happiness in slavery makes a woman more
beautiful. Knowing herself woman and being happy in that revelation
adds something to her aesthetic value. And, naturally, a collar makes
her exquisite. While rayne would never consider herself exquisite, and
most times she doesn"t even consider herself beautiful, the girl
freshly used by her Master staring back at her from the mirror was, at
the very least, pretty.

Sometimes when sitting
here trying to decide what to write, she tries to think of all that is
important for a slave to know. she could probably never write it all
without repeating herself or forgetting something because there is so
much that a slave takes for granted. So much that she knows and reacts
to without even realizing she"s doing it.

rayne has been
asked many times what advice she would give a girl new to BDSM. In
recent days, however, she has learned to view BDSM as more of a kink
than a lifestyle. The reason for this, she supposes, is partly because
BDSM, by definition, describes kinks: B being bondage, D being
discipline, S being sadism and M being masochism. The rest is probably
partly due to her views regarding Mastery and slavery.

she doesn"t really mean her Gorean views. rayne means her specific
views regarding what a Master is and what a slave is. It"s extremely
rare to find someone who actually agrees with these beliefs in BDSM
instead of just saying they do to add to their sexual pleasure.

Tom-a-to, tom-ah-to… arguing semantics.
Yes, this girl realizes that whether BDSM is a kink or a lifestyle is,
in fact, sematics. But it shouldn"t be. While "To each their own" is a
beautiful sentiment, humans, by nature, need specific labels and
definitions to communicate. It"s why we go around naming everything in
the first place (Who ever decided it was a good idea for gay to mean
both happy and homosexual? And why, suddenly, do you have to be male to
be specifically called "gay"? When did we decide to make that

This one can hear you getting frustrated. What"s your point, rayne?
Only that rayne"s advice to a girl new to BDSM and her advice to a girl
new to slavery would be different as, in her mind, the two are
different lives entirely. While a slave is almost always interested in
BDSM in some form, someone who enjoys BDSM is not always interested in
slavery. As a matter of fact, rayne would guesstimate from her
experience with people involved in "the lifestyle" that about ten to
fifteen percent of people involved in BDSM are actually interested in
slavery in its truest form. The number might be much smaller, but she
doubts it"s larger.

With a girl new to BDSM, her advice
would start the same as it would with a slave. Know yourself as well as
you can without actual experience before playing with anyone. Find a
checklist online and go over it somewhere private and be honest with
yourself about who you are. And then make a list of things you think
you would never do (rayne says "think you would" because often "hard"
limits change with experience and trust). A written list that you can
hand to a play partner if you need to would be best (less chance of
forgetting something) but it could be a mental one as well. Start slow
and be careful who you play with. "Safe, Sane and Consensual" is the
BDSM way. Take it to heart.

For a slave, rayne would
suggest the girl read all she can and know how deep her slavery runs.
Sometimes one cannot know this without experience, but you can get a
sense by reading stories and blogs – you"ll find yourself thinking "I
would love that!" or "I could never deal with that." Don"t feel like a
failure if you don"t find your "true Master" right away. As they say,
"Rome wasn"t built in a day." And don"t leap into the first collar
offered simply because he"s handsome, debonaire and controlling. These
qualities do not a Master make. As with BDSMers, take things slowly.
Know what you are seeking and look for it, but don"t be disappointed
when you find a man who will not bend to your desires. It"s your job to
bend to theirs, not vice versa. And above all, don"t go looking for

But I"m in this for a different kind of loving. How can I be enslaved by a man I don"t love? Or who doesn"t love me?
Slavery isn"t about love. In most cases, it comes with the package – if
not right away, eventually – but it isn"t a guaranteed part of the
deal. A slave is property, and while all men love their toys, they love
them because they own them, not necessarily because they are in love
with them (though boys who are in love with their cars are pretty

Disheartened? Don"t be. You aren"t really in
this for love anyway. You"re in it because a deep part of you begs to
be fulfilled. A part of you that longs to submit and be controlled by a
man. To be owned. And if you were to do a little soul searching, you
would find that this is true. However, just as all men love their toys,
their toys eventually come to love them too. Whether it is a true, all
consuming, fulfilling love, or simply the love of a slave for her
Master will be discovered in time. But love is not (or shouldn"t be) a
prerequisite for being owned. That"s like refusing to go out on the
first date because you don"t love the guy. You"ll never find a mate
that way.

Oh… and rayne washed the waves out of
her hair. They would have been ruined anyway. Master took her yard
saleing in the pouring rain. It was so much fun! And we made out like
bandits. A $30 fondue set, brand new – never used, for $1!

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