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Respect and Common Decency

March 15th, 2006

To start rayne would like to say that this is in no way meant to be disrespectful or insulting. It is not a jab at anyone, nor is it meant to call anyone out.

In reading some of the D/s related forums and venues, rayne has noticed a certain lack of respect in submissives (not all of them – rayne"s sure they know who they are) when speaking to dominants. If a dominant (or even another submissive) mentions it, though, they are usually met with such comments as "i"m not owned." or "You don"t own me." or "my owner doesn"t expect me to defer to other dominants." or "i will not bow down to each self-proclaimed Dom/me that crosses my path and those who think i should are arrogant bastards." This is so totally backwards that it"s sort of funny. And then, in the same breath, it"s not.

If rayne were to speak to another dominant the way some of the
submissives speak to them online, she"d be in some serious trouble.
It"s possible that she would be facing release. Whether or not a slave
is expected to defer to other dominants is irrelevant. There is a level
of respect that should be afforded every person a slave comes into
contact with, be they dominant, submissive, or nilla. Hell, there"s a
level of respect that should be afforded every person anyone comes into
contact with, not just slaves. But someone saying "Hi, nice to meet
you. i"m a slave." should absolutely be ready, willing, and able to
face adversity with the respect and common decency they would afford
their owner. Otherwise, they reflect badly on the training they have
received and rayne has yet to meet a Dom/me that is willing to allow
their sub/slave to make a fool of them.

This is not to say
that a submissive should crawl to every person claiming dominant
tendencies begging to be noticed and deemed worthy of their attentions.
rayne"s not saying submissives should call every dominant person they
meet Master, Mistress, Sir, Ma"am, or anything else deferential to
their position. But should you meet someone new in real life on the
street, are you seriously going to get your panties all in a twist
simply because they don"t agree with you? The answer, for most people,
is no. You"re going to be polite and treat them with at least a small
amount of common decency. And if the conversation gets out of hand,
rather than fling insults and begin name calling, you"ll bow out of the
conversation gracefully, if only to a) save face or b) save your own
hide. No one likes a fist fight.

However, online we"re
safe. We can call each other names, bitch and whine, pretend we"re
better than each other, and be just all out disrespectful. We refuse to
grant people online we don"t know even as much respect as we show our
dogs giving the reason that they are "self-proclaimed dominants" as if
there"s some sort of standardized test to take to be a "certified
dominant" and be accepted by the community as such.

rayne used to be that way. she used to pop off at the mouth to anyone
that disagreed with her. she used to look down her nose at Dom/mes and
subs/slaves that held beliefs other than her own, classifying them as
"players" and "wannabes". Then one day Master pointed out how
disrespectful that behavior was. He showed her how childish she
sounded. And He reminded her that her behavior reflected on Him. she
tries now to state her opinion respectfully. And she tries not to
steamroll people that disagree, but tends to continually ram her head
against the wall when they don"t seem to be seeing her point (that
comes with being an Aries).

So her question is, why are
submissives rarely ever called on this behavior? It has got to be
maddening for Dom/mes to have submissives be so completely
disrespectful and out of line and have no course of action against it.
Once upon a time, you could go to the owner and show them they"re being
made fools of. But in some instances, it seems they don"t care anymore.

Perhaps she"s wrong, or out of line, or something… but where has the respect and common decency gone?

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