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The Gift

January 19th, 2006

Gifts usually look something like this.

Gifts usually look something like this.

It’s possible I’ve written something about this before, but I can’t find it, which means it was probably some time around when I started my blog. Nothing wrong with repeating myself since I’m sure some people aren’t going to go through three years of archives.

A while ago, we were talking in the Den and a master got rather offended with my assessment of the “gift of submission”. I find it disheartening when even the men are so utterly convinced that a woman submitting herself to them is the best gift they can receive.

Ladies and gentlemen, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but submission is NOT a gift. At the very least, it is an exchange. The master in question took my opinion as a bash against BDSM. How can I, in good conscience, bash BDSM? For the first two and a half years of our relationship, Master and I were involved strictly in BDSM and not Gor.

I have no issue with BDSM or the differences between it and Gor. I understand there are differences in the levels
at which people choose to submit. I do, however, have issues with the way submissives (usually female submissives) view their submission.

In most every contact I’ve had with submissives, be it through actually meeting them, knowing them via online chat,
reading a website written by them, or whatever, I have found that the submissive holds this “gift of submission” on this high pedestal as if she should be worshiped for being so kind as to allow someone to receive this.

And let’s look at the definition of gift for a moment, shall we?

gift n. Something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation.

Why, then, do these gift-giving submissives expect—nay, demand!—to be dominated in precisely the way they choose in return for this gift? That’s an exchange to say the very least. A gift? How can it possibly be a gift? The submissive is getting something in return. In fact, she will immediately revoke the “gift” if she doesn’t get her due.

Gifts cannot and will not be revoked. Regardless of the situation, if a person is truly giving someone a gift, even if eventually they absolutely hate each other, the person will not try to take that gift back. Not so with submission. When finding they are incompatible with a dominant, or deciding that they do not, in fact, like the dominant at all, a
submissive will revoke their right to her submission. How can you call that a gift?

If submission is a gift, then submissives are indian givers and this slave chooses not to associate with people like that. If submission is a gift, then submissives have no right to expect to be dominated when giving their submission to someone (which they shouldn’t anyway being submissive) because once a gift is given, it is the receiver’s prerogative to use it however they wish. If submission is a gift, then so is domination and a submissive should be
just as grateful to receive that as they expect their dominant to be. If submission is a gift, then it isn’t what modern day submissives call submission at all.

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