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Slaves Dealing With Stress

December 12th, 2005

rayne"s not feeling very bloggish today so if this is a little confusing or out right retarded, she apologizes. Mom sent her pictures of gramma and she doesn"t look good. It won"t be too much longer now till she passes. rayne never does well with death. On another note, tomorrow"s gonna suck, but it has to be done. she wishes she could just wiggle her nose and be passed all this.

But enough personal stuff. This brings into play a very good topic
of discussion which is awesome cause she didn"t think she had one. It"s
a topic that rayne has debated on BDSM forums everywhere. How slaves
deal with stress from their lives outside of the Master/slave
relationship and how their Masters can help them through it.

more into the fantasy aspect of M/s relationships will say things like
"Oh slaves don"t have stress outside of the Master/slave relationship."
Or "slaves don"t have thoughts or feelings so how can they have
stress?" or other equally ignorant things (she originally was going to
say stupid, but she prefers to keep some level of respect. Their
failure to see their fantasy slaves as human beings with thoughts,
feelings, opinions, and needs is ignorance, not stupidity.). slaves do
have stress both in and out of their relationship with their Master.
Some more than others. And some don"t deal with it well.

one once spoke to a slave who had just lost a loved one. she had a
teenage daughter from a previous marriage and was married to her
current Master. The girl was making excuses for both her own disrespect
toward her Master and her daughter"s. We just lost someone close to us. It"ll be better in time. He knows we don"t mean it. It"s expected for us to act this way.

me? Okay the teenager… rayne will let that one slide. Teenagers are
completely unpredictable due to the raging hormones they"re just
learning to cope with so perhaps it is expected for them to react that
way to something as stressful as death. But the slave? rayne
understands distance. she understands dazed, confused, angry, hurt,
depressed, etc. she does not understand "disrespect" based on stress in
her life.

Stress in a slave"s life does not get them a
"Get out of jail free." card. They don"t suddenly lose their
responsibility to their Master as His slave. It doesn"t make it okay
for them to forget they are slave. They don"t suddenly become equal to
their Master because they just lost someone precious to them. And in
rayne"s experience, if a slave clings tighter to that relationship (the
Master/slave relationship) they"ll find they have a very strong
counterpart to lean on through their time of sorrow or need.

a slave reacts to stress is very important. rayne rarely reacts to it
well. Quite often she finds herself taking her feelings of confusion or
fear or anger out on her Master (told ya slaves aren"t perfect… not
even rayne). Just the other day she blew up at Him because something
has spun completely out of her control and she doesn"t know how to deal
with it.

That probably sounds funny coming from a slave.
Consensual slaves aren"t supposed to want control. And in most things,
they don"t. But there are a few things that even slaves sometimes need
to have a handle on and when they lose that grip things start to get a
little crazy. Their emotions, their bodies (with regards to physical
well being), their children, their job (if they have one), etc. Every
human feels they should be able to keep a tight grasp on these things
and when it starts to slip (i.e. losing a loved one, getting extremely
sick, finding themselves in the grasp of a mental illness, etc.) they
get a little stressed out.

Does this make rayne"s
reaction to her loss of control acceptable? Absolutely not. How should
she have handled it? she should have asked Master for a moment of His
time so she could babble to Him about all the things that were
bothering her. she should have looked at things clearly before opening
her mouth. And she should have remained in her role as slave throughout
the entire discussion.

Sure. she sees this NOW, after
she"s already fucked up. But how does a slave remember these things in
the heat of the moment? Well, from the view of the slave that just
forgot this a couple of days ago, she thinks the only way to remember
is to force herself to practice. While the Master can force the slave
to do things this way, depending on the slave, this might ultimately be
viewed by the slave as trying to either control her emotions or program
her to become a robot, which will eventually lead to feelings of anger
or resentment.

Does this mean a Master should let these
explosions of emotion go unpunished? To be honest, that is His
decision, but in this slave"s opinion she thinks that in order to be
consistent, as much as it might hurt Him to do so, He should absolutely
punish His slave. she"s out of line and needs to be put back in her
place. However, any punishment that comes out of this encounter,
especially in a new relationship, should begin by an explanation that
she is NOT being punished for her emotions but for the way she reacted
to them. In some way it should be explained that emotion and the
expression of such is okay, acceptable, and expected but outbursts and
disrespect is not.

When the slave reacts to her emotions
the way she should, the Master should be there for her the way any
partner would, allowing her to cry if she needs to, talk out what she"s
thinking, etc. Give her advice, help her through it, tell her what He
thinks, hold her. But in all this, He must remain in the role of
Master. A slave desperately needs this. Any human being, whether in the
throes of extreme stress or not, needs a sense of normalcy. Structure
and consistency, though, is especially important when they are dealing
with something emotionally disruptive. This is even more important for
a slave.

Bottom line? Stress and emotion are to be
expected in any human being. Sometimes things happen and people don"t
know exactly how to deal with them. But a slave should remain
respectful in all things no matter what she is dealing with. And, just
as in any relationship, a Master should be there for His slave if she
needs Him.

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