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What’s to Tell….

October 9th, 2005

Master and I celebrated the third anniversary of His collaring of me on the sixth. I danced for Him. I’ll be sure to put the dance up soon… hopefully sometime today.

Yesterday was Master’s birthday. I made Him a card and sent Him two from Hallmark (that He STILL hasn’t read). He had to work, unfortunately, so we were at His office all day.

Master is threatening to start being “mean” again if I don”t straighten up. My mouth is getting away with me again and I’m not really completely sure why. For a split second, I think part of it might have been a bit of jealousy. I’m not sure I can go into detail there because I haven’t  been told what was decided. If I’m allowed, I’ll write again later.

But then I realized I really have nothing to be jealous of. Master and I are married. And no one will ever get something I don’t. Except maybe if He found a free companion. Then the woman would be getting freedom. But I don’t WANT freedom. So what does that matter? And I will always have something they don’t (being married to Him… being His forever, no matter what).

Even with reading the books, I’ve never harbored any thoughts or desires of being freed. I’ve never wanted to be a “free companion”. I can’t imagine what it would be like to not be able to be who I am. And who I am is slave. I was born to serve a man. I was born to be slave. It’s in my blood. I’ve never known any desire to ever cut me so deeply. So who cares if He takes a woman that is free?

And besides… free women have to behave with dignity and not show a bit of sluttiness. They have to act all proper and have all sorts of responsibility. What fun is that?

So, the jealousy went away. And I was still being bitchy. My only thought for a reason would be “It’s THAT TIME” (dun dun dun). When Aunt Flow rears her ugly head, I’m not a nice person.

Guess it’s time to go looking for the “THAT TIME happy pills” again. They worked WONDERS! 

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