Archive for September 10th, 2005

Day and Night

September 10th, 2005 No comments

It’s beautiful outside today and I have to go to work with Master. I’m happy to be able to spend the day with Him and hope that perhaps we will be able to go for a walk on His lunch break.

Last night was rough. I was heartbroken because I thought that I was going to lose another friend and I had no idea what I had done. From what I can understand, it seems there was a misunderstanding. But it was fixed and I’m better now.

I rarely make friends from the fear of losing them. Yes, it’s a lonely road but it’s better, in my mind, than getting hurt by someone I care about. With that in mind, I often hold people at arms length with the intent of not getting too close. Closeness begets emotion. Emotion begets friendship. Friendship begets love. Love begets pain. I don’t deal well with emotional pain. So when I do take the steps to make a friend, I often spend the time in fear of losing said friend.

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