Archive for August 13th, 2005

Conversation and another punishment

August 13th, 2005 Comments off

Master and I had a long conversation today about the tone of my journal (which is password protected) and my blog. Master says I doesn’t sound happy and that things I say jive with things I’m supposed to do and/or am supposed to believe. Such as my unwillingness to accept that I am a slave and Master has the right to speak to, sleep with, own, etc. anyone He wishes. Well, that’s not the right way to word it. I have accepted it. I’m just not altogether comfortable with it.

Master mentioned that I have the desire to be used by more than just Him and I agree that it isn’t entirely fair for me to have this desire, feel there’s nothing wrong with it, and then freak out when Master expresses the same desire. And when I shove aside all my selfish tendencies, I  see that the actual idea of Master using another slave doesn’t bother me. It’s the thought that another slave will become a part of His life and I will be pushed aside.

I’m in the process of making Master His dinner as I write this and I’m thinking about everything that has gone on in the past few days. I think back on my sudden revelation and try to piece it together with these conflicting feelings.

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